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Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz
Information
Satire
In breaking news, The Government have announced that they have ‘found’ funding to allow Dr Ashley Bloomfield to get The Internet, and to also get an aide to help him work it.
That Dr Bloomfield, having spearheaded the effort to get millions of Kiwis ‘double-jabbed’ with an experimental vaccine, only just realised on Christmas Eve it could cause serious side-effects, was apparently ‘an embarrassment’ for The Government. Especially as 99% of everyone else already knew this because they do have The Internet.
“We’ve looked around and found that most Director-General’s of Health or their equivalent in Western countries do have The Internet, and thought it appropriate that we ‘hook Dr Bloomfield up’”, a spokes-with-uterus-person said this morning, adding a cautionary note: “..don’t expect changes anytime soon – there’s quite a lot of stuff on the Internet to get through, as you can imagine! We’ve also purchased millions of extra doses of the so-called vaccine, so we’ll be pressing ahead with triple and, where needed, quadruple jabs – just to make sure”.
In related news, scientists have revealed the result of the latest research proving conclusively that everyone who has had COVID will eventually die. As if that’s not bad enough, it’s believed that everyone who has not had COVID will also die, sooner or later. The common link to this grim outcome is the word ‘COVID’ itself, according to scientific consensus.
