Warning
Welcome to Politically Incorrect Comedy corner: the one place on The BFD where you are allowed to read and share naughty and offensive jokes that make us all laugh even though we are not supposed to. If you are offended by these kinds of jokes then please do not read this post.
A 65-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?” God said: “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded: “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”
God replied: “I didn’t recognise you!”
