Before the last New Zealand election, the blog Whaleoil released a video where it counted the number of times Jacinda Ardern said “Comrade.” Now, journalist and talented satirist Steve Braunias has made an Emojiological analysis of an interview that the PM had with Mike Hosking. Apparently she said “Mike” no less than eleven times thereby breaking her record of ten “Comrades” in a row.
O the joys and woes of being Prime Minister! One minute you’re swaying your hips for the cameras in the lovely warmth of Tokelau while the world gazes with adoration at your picture on the cover of Vogue, as chosen and commissioned by Her Royal Highness Meghan Markle the Princess of Trans-Atlantica; the next minute you’re back in New Zealand, there’s a serious sex scandal rocking the Labour Party, the cops have gone feral at Ihum?tao, the weather’s gone all to hell – and worst of all, you’re stuck on the phone for your regular Tuesday morning convo with Mike Hosking.
[…] good cheer and happiness was entirely absent during Ardern’s 10-minute interview with The Hosker on Newstalk ZB this morning. Her appearance was an emoji trainwreck, and it crashed every time that the Prime Minister called the ZB talkback host by his first name.
She said it 11 times.
[…] Trained observation […] has resulted in the following emojiological analysis of the 11 times that Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said “Mike” to Mike Hosking.
The interview began when Hosking asked about the Labour Party’s internal investigations into claims of sexual assault.
A: I’m going to have to be pretty careful answering that question, Mike.
[…] fearful emoji
[…] Hosking kept pressing due to Ardern’s reluctance to say anything substantial.
Q: How many people have specifically quit the party?
A: I cant give you verified numbers, Mike. Also, Mike, as you’ll appreciate, this is a matter for the party.
A: It’s not appropriate for me to undertake a personal investigation into a complaint, Mike,
[…] Hosking changed the subject to City Rail.
Q: What news do you have for us this morning of the CRL?
A: I did actually have a conversation with the Mayor around the issue we talked about last time, Mike, of businesses experiencing hardship.[…]
Q: Do you think there should be less talk or more action?
A: Of course you know there is action under way, Mike.[…]
Q: How long will they be considering it for?
A: I can’t tell you off the top of my head right now, Mike. […]
Ardern suggests that Hosking put his CRL questions to Phil Twyford.
Q: He doesn’t want to talk to me! He’s gone off me in a major way.
A: People who have gone off you, Mike, will still talk to you, you’ll find.
Hosking switches the subject to Ihumatao.
A: I actually wouldn’t call it arbitrary, Mike.
Q: You were saying it was the government’s issue, now you’re saying it isn’t?
A: We can play a role in facilitating a solution. There’s lots of examples of that, Mike.
Hosking switches the subject to the Kiwibuild reset, and whether it will incorporate the Greens policy of rent to buy. Ardern replies, “We’ll have more to say about that down the track.”
Q: When?
A: Down the track, Mike. Stay tuned.
Emoji analysis: […] sick and tired emoji […]
Q: Does that mean between now and the next election?
A: It means soon, Mike.
Q: So it will be delivered before the next election, then?
A: Mike, stay tuned.
Hosking switches the subject to the proposed cancer service.[…]
Q: And will that include the national cancer service?
A: It will include what it includes, Mike.
A Newspaper
When soft left teddy bear Steve Braunias starts mocking you for being a lightweight then you are in big trouble. Here’s hoping that the next count will be the count down to when we have a change of government.
