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Don’t ‘Welcome’ Me to My Own Country

“I can do the smoking gum leaves for your cousin’s wedding, but it’ll cost ya.” The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

How long before Australians start booing the staple ritual of modern wokeism, the made-up “Welcome to Country” nonsense?

You can’t go anywhere, to anything, in Australia today without being subjected to this mind-numbing garbage. From sporting matches, to school assemblies, even daily classes and plane flights, inevitably feature some moron droning on about “acknowledging Elders, past, present and emerging”… whatever the hell that means.

A great many Australians are getting fed up with the whole thing. The chattering classes were thrown into conniptions not long ago when a soccer crowd booed a WTC, performed by the inevitable suspiciously white “Aunty” this or “Uncle” that dressed in a possum-skin cloak with the price tag still attached.

“Aborigines”. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

More and more Australians are openly stating that the very idea of being “welcomed” to their own country is frankly insulting. More and more Aboriginal Australians are voicing their displeasure at what they rightly see as a clique of grifting “box-tickers” pulling an insulting, virtue-signalling scam.

And what a money-spinner it is. Ever since the whole thing was made up out of thin air by Ernie Dingo and Richard Walley in 1976, it has, as The Guardian notes, “took on a life of its own”.

I’m sure it wasn’t all about the money…

You want the standard welcome? That will be $660 plus GST. Not a bad little earner, given it takes only “5-15 minutes to complete”. For $1000 they will throw in a smoking ceremony. As for the performance, the corporation specifies that filming, audio, and photography are not normally permitted, as there is the need to protect “Indigenous Cultural and Intellectual Property”. Worry not though. Requests to film will be considered, although naturally this may require “additional fees”.

They’d worry about dat whitepela magic camera stealing their souls… but they already sold them for cold, hard cash.

And business must be booming. The corporation asks you to not contact them to inquire about services once you have booked them – there is an “influx of event bookings”. Presumably for that reason management tells readers it can “no longer offer a not-for-profit discount”. Incidentally, those fees I quoted are “indicative only”. Translation: the higher the event profile, the higher the fee.
“I can do the smoking gum leaves for your cousin’s wedding, but it’ll cost ya.” The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

But, hey, you think just anyone can smear a bit of ochre over their pasty, pudgy, suspiciously European features and prance about in a possum-skin cloak, waving gum leaves around? This is hard work.

As the Sydney Morning Herald reported in December, the National Tertiary Education Union sought claims for “cultural load” in its latest round of bargaining, the rationale being that Indigenous academics should receive compensation for the arduous task of performing these ceremonies.

What to do, what to do?

Well, here’s a thought: bugger off with this made-up, insulting garbage, and stop taking us all for a ride, you scammy dodgers.

Stop performing them every five minutes and end the rent-seeking practice of making them mandatory. As for the commercial performers, I have no wish to adulterate your ancient ceremony by handing over the white man’s filthy lucre.

The Australian

And for the rest of us: start making our feelings unambiguously known. The WokeFL can’t throw out an entire stadium.

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