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John Black
stuffednz.co
Socio-meteorological experts have confirmed that straight white men are the cause of recent bad weather.
‘The torrential rain recently experienced in Auckland can be traced to the election of Wayne Brown as mayor’, said expert Lois Theplot. ‘If Auckland had only elected a Pacifica mayor this wouldn’t be happening. In fact, it would be sunny all the time just like it is in Tonga or Samoa. I’ve done the modelling.’
Kate Hannah of the Disinformation project agrees. ‘An uptick in online hate from straight white males correlates with heavy rain and flooding. It’s almost exactly like a genocide – but with no death.’
Brian Tamaki disagreed, blaming it all on the gays.
A different opinion was offered by a man in the street, Murray Jones. When asked by Stuffed what he thought was the cause of the bad weather, he told us:
‘I dunno…sometimes it just rains a lot, eh?’
