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There are (apparently) Seven Wonders of the Modern World: the Great Wall of China; Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro; Machu Picchu in Peru; Chichen Itza in Yucatan, Mexico; the Roman Colosseum; the Taj Mahal in India; and Petra in Jordan.
There is an Eighth, but also a first in its own right. Bob Jones, in these very pages a few days ago, criticised the New Zealand cultural cringe, emphasising our island-mentality tendency to overstate our global cultural significance. He said (paraphrasing): the world doesn’t actually give a flying flock for most of our ‘world renowned’ firsts, but that’s where he’s wrong, for we have now produced the world’s latest in wonders: the Gutless Wonder — the city formerly known as Hamilton — soon (surely) to be renamed as whispered, and referred in times gone by: ‘Kirikiriroa’, ‘The Long Stretch of Gravel’.
Capitulating to the shouty-people without so much as a fight, ex-Hamilton gave in to the bulldust-artists and #wannabe_too’s without a single word of resistance, removing the likeness of eponymous Captain Hamilton, waving the supremely limp white flag of surrender before a single shot was fired. How very typical of our friends on the left who, when the going gets tough: well, they simply get gone, like all the formidable and foremost cowards of antiquity, running scared to the folds of the more comfortable cultural safety-blanket.
Once known as a city of proud, if somewhat hirsute, hoons, ex-Hamilton is now going down, way down, in history, abandoned by a gaggle of gormless goons called the Hamilton City Council. Nevertheless, I wish them all the very best and good luck with the pending re-brand, venturing as far, dare I say, to offer a suggestion for their almighty consideration in the naming-stakes: ‘ex-Hamilton, The Long Stretch of Grovel’, or ‘Grovelton’, if preferred.
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