John Black
‘It feels great to be a complete man again’, gushed the relieved leader of the opposition. ‘I’d hunted high and low…I couldn’t believe it when I saw them just sitting there in my wife’s underwear drawer. Then I remembered the early days of our marriage…I’d given them up voluntarily just to get some peace.’
The results of an intact Luxon were immediately apparent.
‘I told the Maori Party to go and shove their racist rhetoric and it felt so good. Next, I’m going to make a principled stand on freedom of speech and tell those trans activist bullies to go to hell…who knows I might even take on the teachers’ union and get tough on law and order…I feel great.’
The giddy leader then ended the interview to go underwear shopping, explaining that he’d gone up a size.
