I’m not a vindictive person by any means, but sometimes the legacy media will serve up a supposed ‘tragedy’ story that just gives me a good ol’ belly-laugh. Such as this: illegal grifters in the US suddenly finding themselves dumped in Africa. Welcome to the FO part, lads. There’s a new sheriff in Washington. The last lot might have let Latin American grubs swarm across the Rio Grande in the tens of millions. The new crowd in charge are made of sterner stuff.
And they’re playing the ol’ Uno Reverse card in the most hilarious way imaginable.
They are some of the first deportees from the United States to Liberia under a deal with the Trump administration. Up to 1,200 people will be sent here.
For now, 15 people, mostly from Latin America, are being housed in a building on the outskirts of Monrovia. Many say they were given no warning before being sent to Africa.
Criminals are rarely given a heads-up before they’re banged up.
Before Liberia, they had built lives in America. They worked, raised families and made plans for the future.
Built lives in America illegally. Worked illegally. That’s kind of the important part.
Carlos, bless his enterprising little heart, toddled off from Venezuela half a decade ago, supposedly fleeing a spot of bother. Having waltzed across the border without so much as a ‘by your leave’, some legally creative magistrate granted him a golden ticket known as ‘withholding of removal’. This bureaucratic masterpiece meant he couldn’t be sent back to Caracas and instead rewarded his unlawful entry with a driving licence, a work permit and all the perks of civic life.
Naturally, Carlos fancies himself a pillar of the community, shifting motors by daylight and flinging takeaway boxes into hatchbacks by moonlight.
“I am not a criminal. I am a good person, a person who contributes.”
He wept to the hacks, whining about being collared during a routine check-in and unceremoniously bundled onto an intercontinental flight. One can almost shed a tear for the chap, if not for the sheer comedic value of his final destination. He whinged about a 15-hour flight in leg-irons – truly a tragedy on par with Shakespearean drama – bemoaning that he never got to wave a proper cheerio to his brood in Dallas.
Then there is Elvis, another pioneer from Honduras who spent nearly a decade laying bricks in Texas before the federal boot finally found his backside. And poor Paula from Brazil, who admitted with refreshing candour that she hadn’t the foggiest notion that Liberia was even a dot on the atlas, let alone her new temporary residence.
The lachrymose scribblers of the legacy media are beside themselves over this arrangement, weeping into their lukewarm lattes about the geopolitical intricacies of Monrovia. We are treated to hand-wringing opines about the plight of these poor souls dropped unannounced into West Africa.
The deal has also raised questions about the responsibilities of a country accepting people who have not chosen to come here.
Oh, the sheer irony. One must pause to admire the breathtaking audacity of such a sentence. As opposed, one might gently ask, to the responsibility of a Western nation being forced to accept millions of uninvited guests who decided to crash on Uncle Sam’s sofa unannounced? At least Liberia entered into a voluntary, mutually beneficial financial arrangement with Washington. Liberia chose them – America certainly didn’t.
Let us also consider the dreadful conditions these unfortunate souls are enduring in their new tropical sanctuary. We are reliably informed that:
They tell us they are being treated well; that the food is better than they experienced in prison, and that they can walk outside without being confined to a cell.
Liberians have welcomed them with kindness.
Good heavens, sound the alarms! Better grub than the clink, fresh air, open spaces, and hospitable locals welcoming them with open arms. It sounds infinitely superior to the alleged racist, fascist hell-hole of America. What on earth are they moaning about?
Besides, let us look at the bright side of this magnificent policy: these displaced travellers are bringing some much-needed multicultural enrichment and diversity straight to sub-Saharan Africa. For years, we’ve been lectured by the progressive intelligentsia that migrants are an invaluable, indispensable economic asset brimming with peerless skills. If they are such an unbeatable boon to the world’s most developed superpower, surely they must be exponentially more invaluable to developing African nations, which clearly need their talents far more than Dallas does.
When all is said and done, this brilliant scheme is an absolute win-win for everybody involved, especially the taxpaying citizens of the United States, who can finally watch the trash get taken out with style.
