There might actually be a reason to watch a bunch of poonces in skin-tight lycra ride bicycles around on the telly for once. If demented, vicious avians are going to turn a cycle race into a blend of Birdemic and Death Race 2000, well count me mildly interested.
When a thousand elite riders in the world’s largest road cycling championship came to Australia, it seems that one detail was overlooked – the threat posed by angry birds.
“It was terrifying. But that’s Australia, apparently. I hope it’s the only time it happens, but I am afraid of it,” said the Belgian rider Remco Evenepoel, one of several competitors in the UCI World Road Championships to have been dive-bombed by Australian magpies over the weekend.
I always kind of liked magpies. Their song is the sound of morning, as far as I’m concerned. Plus they can be excellent mimics: I’ve heard one talking, imitating dogs and horses. Sure, they’re bastards, but in an endearing way.
Even more endearing, when they’re dive-bombing cyclists.
Native to Australia and southern New Guinea, the Australian magpie is known for its carolling song and intelligence – it is said it can remember up to 30 human faces. It is also a vicious protector during its peak September mating season. Adult males, which are much bigger than their European cousins, defend their nests by swooping on anything they consider a threat.
With their usual blase disregard for the rest of the world, the cyclists didn’t deign to notice the warning signs, right where they put their finish line. Now they’re getting a comeuppance.
The finish line of the race is close to a sign that for years has warned cyclists of a magpie attack hot spot.
“Birds swooping!” it reads. “Dismount and walk your bike through this area. Magpies are nesting in this area.”
Dismounting is hardly an option for the more than 1,000 cyclists from 70 nations competing in the week-long event; it is one of the top five sporting spectacles in the world, watched by more than 300 million viewers […]
[“O]ne of our guys has been attacked already by a magpie,” [Swiss competitor, Stefan Kung] said.
The Australian
Maybe they should have held the race in Tasmania: our magpies are way more relaxed.
“For whatever reason Tasmanian magpies don’t swoop in the same way that mainland magpies swoop,” BirdLife Tasmania ornithologist Eric Woehler said […]
“We’ve known for many, many years that our birds aren’t aggressive like the mainland ones,” he said.
“We just know there is a difference, and we‘re thankful in Tasmania that we don’t have aggressive magpies.”
News.com.au
He’s apparently forgetting the Murder Chickens (masked lapwings, aka plovers). Now, they’re vicious bastards — but I get on well enough with the ones who nest near us every year. Plus the chicks are the most adorable little balls of fluff.
Then they grow up.
