Table of Contents
For the last few weeks we have had to endure a general election campaign. It consisted of all sorts of promises, publicity stunts, claims, counterclaims, scares, opinion polls and media commentary. Then the electorate voted. Many New Zealanders found it all highly entertaining – especially when their man got stuck into the other side’s man – and I am sure lots of people were able to convince themselves of the righteousness of their vote, especially when the other lot was so evil.
But I wonder what a foreigner visiting New Zealand made of it all? What did a French backpacker picking asparagus in, say, Canterbury make of the election campaign taking place around him? Whilst sipping milky coffee from a bowl and dipping a bit of bread into it he probably experienced varying degrees of astonishment; probably wondering what on earth he’d struck!
Now the election is over I have a word of advice for Mr Christopher Luxon; pull up a chair Mister Prime Minister and let New Zealand’s number one (and probably only) Capitalist explain how to become our longest-serving Prime Minister, and with a long track record of success.
My advice is simple. Move into Premier House (well, once your lady wife has put up new curtains, and thrown out all the old scripts, toys, bongs and hay left over from the last lot); move into your new office in the Beehive; realise it is a short walk around the corner and down the hill – so make use of it. Be there at 8:30am and just get some work done: productive undertakings which implement election policies and get the economy back on track.
Chris, honey, you’ve had a year and a half of massive overexposure and that needs to end if you want to be a success. No press conferences, no speeches, no interviews, no press releases, no silly crisscrossing the country attending this and opening that. Just drop out of sight completely for the next year or so. Seriously, don’t do anything ‘public’ until, say, February 2025.
I realise your media people would be horrified at such a notion but, as last Saturday proved beyond any doubt, the press gallery doesn’t matter any longer. Who cares what they think? Ditto for the irrelevant smartypants crowd filling the bars in Wellington who are “experts” on what everyone in the “heartland” thinks.
The less exposure you receive, the more everyone will miss you and support you.
Become the shadowy figure in the Beehive getting on with the job – to the delight of those who voted for you – not some performing seal like John Key.
Remember Mr Luxon, you’re not Norman Kirk and about to be punished by God for a lifetime of socialist wickedness and cosying up to communist murderers, nor are you some David Lange or Helen Clark, interlopers who know what monstrous old frauds they are – to the extent of feeling faintly embarrassed to be on the 9th floor. You, Chris, are wanting to still be around – with 45% or so of the party vote – a decade from now, by which time you can look back on the “Kiwi Miracle” you helped lead.
You don’t need to be a celebrity, you don’t need to engage in peripheral nonsense, you just need to focus on doubling exports within a decade and getting people’s children to learn the eight times table. The man in the street isn’t a fool and isn’t a socialist; he backs you in these endeavours. There is a lot to do so just crack on with it.
You’re welcome Chris.
