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Labour and the Greens’ Fart Targets

I would like to share with you a subject that might have been quite relevant for some or most of us over the Christmas/New Year period, as we consumed bounteous amounts of rich food and alcohol.

And that is FLATULENCE or in common parlance, FARTING.

Now I’m not wanting to be crude or boorish, but farting is a very serious and relevant subject for Hipkins’ Government and, of course, the Greens.

Why? Because the environmental loonies in Labour and the Greens propose to reduce sheep and beef numbers by 20% and dairy farming by 5% to achieve some unscientific, probably dreamed up, designed for purpose figures, they are calling our National Greenhouse Gas Targets.

Why target sheep and cows?

Because methane emitted by ruminant animals is responsible for 71% of our total agricultural emissions.

They want to reduce methane by between 24% and 47% by 2050. This target was based on the work of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which calculated that agricultural methane needed to fall by between 24 and 47% by mid-century, to limit global heating to 1.5°C.

And you know what? The worrying thing is, this BS is enshrined in climate law!

Now, over the Christmas/New Year break, I was discussing the issue of the “fart tax” with a friend and he posed the question; How much methane do humans produce and why isn’t this mentioned in any of the methane/climate change rhetoric?

So, I went searching for some answers and found some interesting facts.

Farting is generally associated with bad odours but the pong actually only makes up a very small percentage of our farts.

A typical fart is composed of about 59 per cent nitrogen, 21 per cent hydrogen, 9 per cent carbon dioxide, 4 per cent oxygen but a large, 7 percent methane!

Plus, only about one per cent of a fart contains hydrogen sulphide gas, which contains sulphur, and it’s the  sulphur that makes farts stink.

Why do we emit methane? Intestinal gas is produced within the body and is a by-product of the breakdown of food residue by good bacteria (probiotics) naturally residing in the colon. When these bacteria in the colon break down food, producing endogenous gas, obviously we have to get rid of this build-up of gas!

Studies have shown that the average person generates 0.6-1.8L of gas per day.

Gee, how unlucky would you be if you were a scientist seconded to that study!

With our world population at a tick under 8 billion people, it seems we produce around 1/2 million tonnes of methane in our burps and farts annually!

By now I expect many of you are saying something like “Where is this guy going with this nonsense?”

You are correct: a huge amount of nonsense is involved in this methane reduction issue.

To Jacinda Ardern, James Shaw and all the other individuals who perform the “World Environmental Death Throes” dance for political gain and personal recognition, I say your agenda to reduce sheep, beef and dairy numbers by 20% and 5% is simply NONSENSICAL!

Why? You may well ask.

Well, for a starter, that equates to approximately the value of the entire wine industry and half of the seafood being wiped out.

But let’s have a look at some other unusual facts and figures.

Believe it or not, according to the Environmental Protection Agency, “Global emissions of methane due to termites are estimated to generate up to 20 million tonnes of methane per year!

It’s hard to believe, but the tiny termite is responsible for a great deal of our global warming problem. Termites fart more than any other animal, simply pumping out that methane!

Thus, making them the second-largest natural source of methane emissions!

Photo by Roberto Sorin. The BFD.

Wetlands are the largest natural source of atmospheric methane. Microorganisms living in water-logged soils produce methane, and this makes its way into the atmosphere.

Are we not trying to preserve wetlands?

Wildfires and the burning of vegetation due to forest fires lead to the combustion of carbon that is sequestered in trees, resulting in ‘detrimental’ gases like CO2 and methane being released into the atmosphere.

But was it not Ardern’s Government that allowed pine plantations to be planted on any class of land? Prompting investors to buy up productive sheep and beef farms just to plant pine forestry, pocket the carbon credits and then walk away!

Absolutely mind-boggling and ham-fisted law-making!

Even Environment Minister David Parker says this has been “a blunt instrument” for carbon offsetting.

If there’s methane brewing in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call?

Time to call the “Methane Busters”, Jacinda and James!

The African continent has the largest population of termites. Approximately 1,000 species are found in Africa, where mounds are extremely abundant in certain regions. Approximately 1.1 million active termite mounds can be found in the northern Kruger National Park alone. Talk about fart country!

If it is good enough for the Methane Busters to want to cull our sheep and beef herds, then those pesky, farting termites deserve the wrath of Jacinda and James.

It’s Methane Busters meets Bug Busters! Get over to Africa and rid them of those bloody termite mounds guys!

While you are there, fill in all their wetlands too!

Now here is the biggie! Gotta reduce that methane; gotta cull the world’s population!

Putin and Covid are helping but we have just got to get those population numbers down!

Do you now see what I mean? It’s unadorned nonsense!

All this methane reduction action called for by the “Methane Busting Twins” is spouted and promoted purely for political gain and personal recognition.

It is contradictory, it is irrational and it is completely illogical.

No, more than that, it is totally NONSENSICAL!

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