John Black
stuffednz.net
“It was the greatest day of my life,” claimed William O’Shaughnessy or ‘Whiskey Bill’ as he’s known in his local pub, the Pig and Whistle. “The day I legally changed sex. I felt like my true self at last. A self that gets half-priced drinks on Tuesdays and Thursday nights.”
Long time town drunkard, Whiskey Bill explained that all his life he had felt discriminated against. “If you are a woman, especially an attractive one, fellas are always buying you drinks. If you are a 78-year old male alcoholic with halitosis and a limp, you get nothing. Well, I did have a drink thrown at me once. I puked in a woman’s handbag and she threw a vodka and cranberry juice at me. That was the second greatest day of my life.”
When approached about this obvious abuse of gender self-identification laws, the Internal Affairs department was unconcerned. “We encourage people to self-identify especially if they feel discriminated against. Right now we have a program to eliminate the gender pay gap by getting women to identify as men, giving them an immediate 7% pay increase.”
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