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Satire
The pundits at the ‘FERALD’ thought the second Leaders’ debate of the AMAZON WOMEN was very entertaining. It was two wins from them for me and two draws.
FRAN O’SULLIVAN thought I was punchy. On point. But at times overconfident.
CLEAR AS (Trevett) thought the RED QUEEN sounded less like a Labour pamphlet than she usually does.
GALLOPING GARNER (AM) said I was always at the front gate waiting for a FIGHT.
TRISH (AM) followed up PREBBLES theory ‘ CAN A SOUFFLE RISE TWICE?’
The party that won last time got only 36.9% of the votes, which was LABOUR but had more mates than us, like the Greens and NZF.
According to Latest Colmar Brunton, our polls have steadily gone up but the RED QUEEN’S has gone down. This is giving us a bit of momentum. Our possible partner Act has gone up to 8% giving them 10 seats. I even offered the TWERK (Seymour) deputy leadership.
Greens on 7% do not often get the same results at the ballot box as the young ones won’t get out of bed to vote. So if they fell under the threshold that would make it more of a contest.
Labour cannot govern alone on present polling, so their GOOSE IS COOKED if the GREENS do not get out of bed to vote.
The man from GREY POWER said it was CRUSHER versus GNASHER and the RED QUEEN has taken this to heart and announced 1bn for Gnashers, Pharmac reviews and Mental Health.
It seems I cannot mention my husband David Wong Tung without my being accused of using him as political capital presumably amongst Pacifica.
I said ‘TALOFA’ to a questioner on the first debate which introduced my ‘HOMIE’ credentials. This seemed to be taken as an insult. It was supposed to be a ‘GOTCHA’ moment for me, but showing I was ‘DOWN WITH THE HOMIES’ put them off their stride and this has caused annoyance to some of them.
I’LL TELL YOU WHAT THOUGH! You are ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’.
I mentioned I was a ‘CHRISTIAN’ TWICE In the debate. Who knew? I’m getting more like TRUMP.
But I didn’t have my mother’s Bible to wave round to convince people.
Plus I did vote for the Abortion bill which is a big NO, NO with TRUMP.
I may have lost the staunchly Christian vote on this one which may explain why they are heading for New Conservative.
I said I was against the decriminalizing of cannabis and the Euthanasia referenda so perhaps my Christian roots are showing.
The RED QUEEN could not wait to Don the hijab again in Christchurch and introduce her HATE SPEECH laws which will ban criticism of religion.
These sound like blasphemy laws. JESUS would be accused of ‘hate speech’. He called the Pharisees “a brood of vipers”, how can you who are evil say anything good? (Mathew 12v34)
Unfortunately I did call the RED QUEEN ‘dear’ when she asked me about Climate Change twice. This only enforces my Aunty status, so I will have to watch it.
We are going to look at the Zero Carbon Act again, and as for the Emissions, we will look at methane gas, you can’t blame “the poor cows for everything”, they are only doing what comes naturally. Plus we will get rid of those damned forests on arable land. Currently, we are giving 1.4bn to poor countries to get rid of their emissions. Are you having a LARF? (as the Poms would say)
The RED QUEEN sad she was quite happy with GREEN JIMMY (Shaw) getting his $12m Green School. Their plan is to put $13.6bn into transport which will provide free rides for those under 18 and over 65 and new rail lines all over the country.
The AUCKS bridge is falling down, perhaps they could help.
YOU KNOW WHAT, that song ‘Little Lies’ by Fleetwood Mac popped into my brain when she said she was a world-beater on COVID. It’s always got to be WORLD something whether it’s Emissions or COVID, why can’t it be just good for NZ? Is she a megalomaniac? Her ‘hard and early’ was a sound bite. If we had gone ‘hard and early’ there would not have been a lockdown with attendant economic woes, apart from the deaths.
TULOFA! I said Samoa went one month before us on shutting borders and have had no COVID.
But YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH, it’s not just Samoa. Trump had his borders to China shut in December.
Taiwan never had a lockdown. They have had only 7 deaths with about five times our population. Plus 36 countries have had it before us. You would think she would have caught on earlier. The “poor wee thing” keeps repeating that we “went hard and early” to make herself feel better. It is just retrospective wishful thinking.
The CHAMELEON (Peters) said money is being given away like an eight-armed octopus.
It was Back to the Future for him with a repeat of Don Brash’s Orewa Speech about “one law for all.” He said he had blocked an IHUMATEO deal several times and threatened to bring down the coalition.
AUNTY AUDREY (FERALD) said Peters is in ‘AGHAST VICTIM MODE’ over the SFO investigation of NZF Foundation.
Most feel the CHAMELEON has done a good job as a hand brake in the Coalition.
He got there first on TIWAI Point. Now we are all following him.
ADVANCE Party have lost their battle in Court to be represented in the TV3 Newshub Nation’s minor parties debate on Saturday at 9.25 am. They are on 1% at the moment same as NC who are in the debate.
When PADDY asked me about BIG DON, I said he had made some peace deals between Israel and some Middle-Eastern countries. This brought out the ‘jeepers’ from the RED QUEEN. The Marxists and the Democrats will never accept that BIG DON has done one good thing in his life.
RIP Helen Reddy:
Her song I AM WOMAN comes to mind.
If I have to,
I can do anything,
I am strong,
I am invincible,
I AM WOMAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT, WE AMAZON women proved it in the Leaders’ debate.
YI-HA,
Here’s looking at you kid, (Ardern)
Down the hatch,
PUNCH and DOUBLE JUDY.
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