Special Police Membership Deal

Information

Satire

Now that we know that The BFD is under Police surveillance by the “Scanning and Targeting Team”, we here at The BFD  thought that we should spread some of that kindness that Jacinda is always droning on about. Our team have put their heads together and helped me to create this special police membership deal.

Most of the police are great people and we know that it is a bloody hard job so please take this offer in the spirit that it is intended.

This is a special offer for the special guys and gals in the Scanning and Targeting Team ONLY as we know that reading The BFD is part of your job (you lucky things).

Budget cuts mean that you are having to surveil us on ancient steam-powered computers with dial-up pedal-powered modems. We know that is a drag and we want to help.

Only yesterday I was crapped on by one of your carrier pigeons that were observing me closely in the tree under which I sat working, enjoying the sunshine. I think it is terrible that you do not yet have access to some decent drones so that you can surveil me properly.

Now that I know that you are watching I will take a lot more care of my appearance. Working from home you tend to let things go (am I right?) and I blush to think that over your morning coffee you are watching me sitting here in my PJ’s idly picking my nose.

Anyway, I digress. I have put together with the help of the team a special membership package for you all to take advantage of. Cam says your two lead investigators are called Tarquin and Sebastian so I just want to take a moment to welcome you both to The BFD.

It must be tough surveilling us because you run the risk of falling for our logical and evidence-based opinions but, while I cannot shield you from all our good old-fashioned common sense, I can at least offer your team a great membership deal so that you at least do not have to suffer from the ads.

So what does our special package include?

1. A discounted subscription (90% off) if you can get two of your cop buddies to subscribe as well.
2. A FREE Pig plushie that definitely does not contain any video or audio devices (cross my heart and hope to die) with every Cop membership.
3. A Special 100% off FREE Silver membership for every cop in your team. To qualify please send me your badge number. (sb at thebfd.co.nz)
4. A FREE set of 6 BFD Coasters for your coffee table. Do not be alarmed by the shiny metallic labels on them because they do not have a camera/tracking device/voice recorder embedded in them.  If you don’t believe me peel them back to see a message from us that reads “Hello officers, paranoid much?”
5. As an added BONUS we are also offering, this week only, free invitations to all anti-government protests including copies of protest signs and stickers, with a nifty police logo attached.

I note that your team have labelled The BFD a disinformation site for fabricating content. To save you some time here is a never before seen photo of our fabricating team in action at an undisclosed location somewhere in deepest, darkest Southland.

When your boss asked you for some hard evidence to back up your claim that we are a disinformation site you were only able to come up with one piece of evidence from one of our highly skilled Photoshoppers fabricators, Luke.

Clearly, your team needs some help if you are going to make the disinformation claim stick so, in the spirit of friendship and in the expectation of earning Tarquin and Sebastian a special bonus or possibly a promotion, here is a link to the fabrications that we are most proud of.

1. https://thebfd.co.nz/category/gallery/photoshops/
2. https://thebfd.co.nz/author/sonovamin/ ( you will need a subscription to view these ones by fabricator SonovaMin)
3. https://thebfd.co.nz/author/boomslang/ (you will need a subscription to view these ones by fabricator BoomSlang)

A warm welcome to the “Scanning and Targeting Team” from all of us here at The BFD.