Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz
Warning
Satire
The new Minister of Justice, Kiri Allan, who has promised to make an announcement on hate speech as soon as by the end of this year, and ‘guaranteed’ that she will have introduced law before the next election, has found surprising new allies in the Opposition.
The Opposition has helpfully issued a manifesto providing ‘guidelines and examples of just what may constitute “hate speech” (as this was an area that found both the PM and the previous Minister of Justice wanting last time Hate Speech Laws were tabled).
The ‘if you see it you will know it’ framework proposed by the PM has specificity added in the new manifesto which includes the following:
- Threatening children and/or dashing their hopes for the future by falsely predicting a climate apocalypse (whether or not you know that not they, not you, and indeed not even your individual sovereign nation can change the Earth’s climate in any way)
- Humiliate children for the colour of their skin, including talk of ‘white privilege’, ‘vanilla lens’, etc (whether or not you do so by force-feeding them a fake History curriculum at school)
- Targeting the vulnerable by creating false narratives about sex and gender (whether patently ridiculous or not)
- Disrespecting New Zealanders by referring to the country by any name other than “New Zealand”
- Lording your ‘cultural superiority’ by routinely prefacing what you say with expressions in a language few know or will ever care to learn
- Deconstruction of historical documents by reference to made-up ‘principles’ to mean things they really don’t (whether or not you have any principles yourself)
- Demeaning people for their religion (expanded to even include Christians!)
- Include a definition of “economic terrorism” as ‘creation of false narratives and policy undermining the productive primary sector’
- Use of the euphemism “Progressive” to describe yourself when its real meaning is akin to “closet fascist who couldn’t ‘progress’ so much as a party at a vineyard”.
Sensing a trap whereby Hate Speech Laws implemented under such a manifesto may perhaps be used against Labour Ministers at large, Minister Allan has reportedly gone back to cabinet to ‘seek further guidance’.
