Yvonne van Dongen
Veteran NZ journo incredulous gender ideology escaped the lab. Won’t rest until reality makes a comeback.
When the epithet ‘politician’ was first attached to my moniker, it gave me quite a start. Probably because it was an accusation hurled at me by an opponent who clearly thought I was quite unsuited to this role. She had a point.
God knows I’ve never wanted to join the ranks of the poor benighted fools seeking election. Seems to me to survive this gladiatorial arena, it helps to be a raging extrovert, quick on your feet, and certain of your principles yet at the same time willing to trade a few. I wasn’t sure I was any of those things.
But when someone as doggedly optimistic and energetic as Jill Ovens calls upon you to stand up for your beliefs, it’s hard to say no. Ovens is a former Labour Party apparatchik, trade unionist, La Leche League campaigner and now co-founder and co-leader of the Women’s Rights Party (WRP). She’s possessed of the kind of can-do spirit that believes she can bend the world to her will – and very often she can. The world needs people like her. People like me just look at the difficulties and quail before the first hurdle.
Ovens is, without a doubt, the animating force behind the WRP, bringing a lifetime’s experience and wisdom as a seasoned political operator to her role. Thank God for that. Most of the WRP folk who trail in her wake are, like me, complete political ingenues.
So I said yes to her and, nek minit, there I was number two on the list. “You won’t have to do anything,” she promised. We probably both knew that was a lie.
So what did I do? Not a lot, if truth be told. An online article in Ponsonby News, a short talk at a gathering of eccentrics, a bit of campaigning at markets and shopping centres, meeting other like-minded women on Waiheke Island, turning up for a commemorative event at the Ellen Melville Centre and a star turn at a gorgeous morning tea put on for the party’s benefit.
Here’s what I learned. Keep the message simple. When talking to strangers in the wild, it was ‘No Men In Women’s Sports’ and ‘No Children on Puberty Blockers.’
Lesson number two was for a positive reception to these simple messages: pick your targets. Talk to men first (any age will do), ethnic minorities second and white women, especially young white women, last.
Lesson number three was don’t expect anyone to change their mind in front of you and, four, don’t try to win the argument. Instead, try to understand the person you want to reach.
This dovetailed with the biggest lesson of all – few people know as much about the issue as you do. Meet them where they are.
This last lesson was drummed home over and over. The young woman with the sharp, shaved haircut who was sure gender was both biological and social since genomes had a bearing on people’s sexuality and, really, the argument was far more complicated than I made out. The former Labour male politician who insisted that the statement ‘there are only two sexes’ was ‘just my opinion. Plenty of doctors would disagree.’ The business woman who thought my message about the risks to women and children raised by gender ideology was ‘fear-mongering’ and alarmist. The woman at the bus stop who said it was ‘all very difficult’ and ‘hard for those people’. Not to mention the women who didn’t want people to know they had engaged with such a seditious issue.
Women’s objections came with a pained expression and a side dose of tortured concern. The odd male (and really it was the odd male) harrumphed crossly.
Here’s what I wished I’d said instead of repeating what I thought were the undeniable triple truths of sex and gender – there are only two sexes, people can’t change sex, there’s no such thing as being born in the wrong body – and expecting people to agree with me. Well, they should have, but they didn’t.
I wish I’d made fewer statements and asked more questions like:
- Do you think children have a fundamental human right to go through puberty without medication and surgery?
- Are there any circumstances in which you would say that someone cannot change sex?
- What is the difference between a child experiencing gender nonconformity and a child experiencing gender dysphoria?
- Should parents be able to question a child’s decision to transition without being accused of being unsupportive?
- If being a woman is based on gender identity rather than biological sex, what happens to the concept of female-only spaces?
- Is there a legitimate reason for collecting statistics based on biological sex?
- If we stop distinguishing between biological males and females, how do we monitor sex-based discrimination and violence?
Here’s what else I learned. I actually enjoy engaging in a respectful discussion with people about this issue. It’s not their fault they are so uninformed. The media has done its level best to push the gender woo line ever since this mutant ideology left the lab and, for the most part, it has worked.
Also I like morning tea. Even afternoon tea, for that matter. So I’m available for anyone who cba organising such an event. I’ll come along. After the elections is fine. Campaigning has taught me this is going to be a long haul.
Plus I’m heartened by the knowledge shared by one WRP member that her grandmother’s research into women’s suffrage in New Zealand showed that the votes for suffrage mapped on to houses where morning teas and other such gatherings had been held.
I can do that. I won’t fret if no one appears to be convinced by my devastating logic. That’s okay. That’s not how this changing hearts and minds business works. But I’ll give it a shot – one ginger slice and cup of tea at a time.
This article was originally published on the author’s Substack.
