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The Love That Cannot Keep It in Its Pants

If you have a dick, you’re not a chick. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

Once upon a time, aspirants to political office or public service positions were subject to “pink-listing”, if it was suspected that there was a hint of lavender in the air. It was reasoned that the shame of being publicly exposed as homosexual left people in critical positions at unique risk of being tangled in compromising positions, and, thus, blackmail.

These days, though, there is no shame among many of those of homosexual persuasion: quite the opposite. The same people who demanded that no-one take any interest in what they did in their bedrooms now seem to want everyone to know exactly what they do in their bedrooms. Or in the street, in full view of children, when it comes to the annual, month-long orgy of shamelessness dubbed, for some reason, “pride”.

But it may be time for the pink-list to make a comeback: not because any gays in politics are keeping their predilections secret. Quite the opposite. The problem these days is that they just can’t seem to keep it in their pants. Especially not in the workplace.

Sen. Ben Cardin, D-Md., has broken his silence after one of his staffers was allegedly fired over a sex tape filmed in a Senate hearing room […]

The scandal erupted Friday when the Daily Caller published the video with the blurred-out faces of two men engaging in sex in Hart Senate Office Building room 216, a location where several high-profile hearings have taken place in recent years, including Supreme Court confirmation hearings.

Posts on social media said the alleged staffer worked for Sen. Cardin, whose office soon after announced that the aide had been dismissed.

Fox News

This mirrors a similar scandal in Australian politics, some years ago. Back then, furore erupted when it emerged that a group of male staffers in then-PM Malcolm Turnbull’s office, dubbing themselves the “Big, Swinging Dicks”, engaged and filmed themselves in regular orgies in just about any and every unoccupied space in Parliament House. Offices, even the Parliamentary Prayer Room.

Although the media-political class tried to draw a polite veil over the fact, it was notable that only men were involved. Despite female journalist’s and left-politician’s hysterics about “sexual harrassment” (it seemed the men had a particular fetish for soiling women’s desks), it was painfully obvious that this was a gay men’s sex club in operation in the hallowed halls of Parliament. Turnbull had achieved the singular feat of turning the halls of power into an Oxford St. Turkish bathhouse.

Now it appears that the rampant poovery of satyriac pillowbiters is punching orifices in political offices around the Western world.

Oddly, Senator Cardin would not name the staffer in question. Perhaps he didn’t feel the need to bother, as the fellow had previously had no hesitation of literally exposing himself to the world.

In November, Senator Ben Cardin’s Chief of Staff Chris Lynch promoted U.C. Berkeley graduate Aidan Maese-Czeropski from his entry-level aide job while simultaneously warning the 23-year-old to stop posting nude and seminude photographs to his public Instagram page, according to a person familiar with the situation.

Maese-Czeropski affirmed the warning in a now-deleted story posted to his Instagram page, in which he said the “chief of staff just promoted me and in the same breath suggested I tone down my social media.”

Which, as we all know, is for millennial perverts, an even more insulting breach of their dong-given rights than ordering Rosa Parks to the back of the bus in the middle 50s.

Maese-Czeropski’s Instagram page was “something of an open secret” within Senator Cardin’s office, the source affirmed, adding that it was “generally known” that some of Maese-Czeropski’s posts connected him to his Senate job. One month before his promotion, Maese-Czeropski posted that he was “waiting for Lindsey Graham in the work showers,” referencing the Republican U.S. Senator from South Carolina. In another, Maese-Czeropski wrote that he was “trying to resist the urge to suck on Representative [Eric] Sorensen’s gorgeous fingers” while seated near to the openly-gay Congressman at a luncheon.

One need only consider how many fingers on which to count the remaining seconds of a public figure’s career, should he be heterosexual and post similar drooling fantasies about female politicians.

Despite the questionable posts, few within Senator Cardin’s office felt there was much they could do about Maese-Czeropski’s social media activity, with Lynch telling one staffer that the posts were “made on a personal account” and that the office “didn’t want to come across as impeding on the personal expression of an openly-gay staffer,” the source said.

The Desk

And there’s the rub, no pun intended: the purple-helmeted worm has turned so completely that, far from being a source of shame, homosexuality is a never-ending font of shamelessness. No matter how prurient or openly pornographic the behaviour of a gay man, they are deemed beyond reproach simply by the waving of the magic pink wand. Preferably in as public manner as possible.

The love that dare not speak its name has become the love that no-one dare hold to even the most basic principles of public decency.

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