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Alwyn Poole
alwynpoole.substack.com
Alwyn Poole founded and was the head of Mt Hobson Middle School in Auckland for 18 years. MH Academy is now an in-person private school for Year 11 – 13. There is now a nationwide online provision called Mt Hobson Academy Connected for Years 1 – 13.
Information
Opinion
With a change of government looking increasingly likely, the Labour/Green Government is really starting to ramp up their cancel list.
Latest manifestations of such.
a) Significant achievement for low decile, Maori and Pasifika students has been cancelled. This has been demonstrated by the huge slump in NCEA/UE statistics in the last three years with completely ineffective policies aiming to have more than 22% of decile 1 students fully attending and resulting in teaching and learning programmes that see just 2% of decile 1 students being able to pass basic writing tests.
b) Regulating alcohol (not entirely bad) while wanting free play for other drugs.
c) Free and robust speech.
Warning
Satire
I am sure there is more to come, so I thought I would create my own top ten list of things that I would like to cancel.
10. Across the world golfers with handicaps less than 24 should be banned from all pro tournaments. Weekend hackers like me need their chance, and experts like Ryan Fox have had the opportunity of hitting many more golf balls in practice and that isn’t fair. He has been far too dedicated.
9. Pedestrian crossings must go. As far as I know, there are no road user charges for pedestrians. They are effectively trespassing. We could hugely reduce congestion in our cities by insisting pedestrians simply have to take their chances (and improve their fitness and skill sets). There could be flow on positives from this – e.g. less need for retirement saving, housing….
8. The Daily Blog must go. I go there once a day and read what Bomber Bradbury (and others) have to say. At times it is appalling – he is arguing for robust debate, he is challenging the woke orthodoxy, he even makes occasional economic sense and insists people should be talking. Appalling.
7. Similarly Chris Trotter. What on earth is he doing? He holds traditional Labour values and clearly cares for the needy. And yet he believes deeply in free speech and the qualities this should bring to a 2022 society. Weird. A one-way ticket to Ukraine (with a sawn-off spud-gun) is needed.
6. The “River of Filth”. Surely anyone even tangentially connected to the Wellington protests, needs to know that they should purchase cheap rubber boats and paddle for South America. When someone like the highly esteemed Michael Wood (Minister of Potholes and Ridiculous Train Transport), who publicly declares his Christian faith, calls you “filth” it must be clear that he has adjudicated that even Jesus would not stand up for you. Time to paddle.
5. Any political party that lacks so much creativity that they can only name themselves after a colour. The Greens have to go. The precedent has too much risk. A Purple party for re-incarnated royalty? An Orange party for Dutch immigrants? A Red party for people with orange hair? A Yellow party for nervous people? There is no end to this. It must be cancelled.
4. Fitness and exercise must be removed from society in all ways. If those activities caught on they would render much of the health system superfluous. Also, if you are overweight (as I currently am) it is simply embarrassing that other people have not been so slovenly. Shame on them. Cancelled or shot – not sure which.
3. Reading and other broad intellectual pursuits need to be removed from society – along with any form of critical thinking and the asking of probing questions (such should be criminal for media – if it isn’t already). There is no way in the world our coming generations should be able to think for themselves – bowing at the ‘podium of truth’ is an exemplary practice. Can you imagine how awful it would be for one of our ‘investigative journalists’ or ‘explainers’ to ask a politician or a bureaucrat for a ‘reference’? I always ask Year 7 – 10 children for references but it would be appalling to ask privileged adults for the same.
2. All satirists and comedians MUST be banned and their legacy performances removed. My list so far is Dave Chappelle, Norm MacDonald, Ricky Gervais, John Clarke, Stephen Fry, John Gadsby & David McPhail, Bill Burr, Mike King, Robin Williams, Joe Rogan and Billy T James. They are often “inappropriate” and that is enough for me. Norm MacDonald even lampooned teachers – “how dare he??!!”
1. Government must go. The great Douglas Adams summed it up so superbly.
“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
“To summarise: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
“To summarise the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
(Darn it – I forget to add in EVs, hybrids, cubes, and anything that takes an hour to get to 100 km/h, chews up heavy metals, and requires massive amounts of coal-fired electricity.)
