Matua Kahurangi
Just a bloke sharing thoughts on New Zealand and the world beyond. No fluff, just honest takes.
You really can’t hate the media enough. Lifestyle journalist, Tyson Beckett of the NZ Herald churned out a headline so utterly stupid it makes Woman’s Day look like serious journalism:
“Finance Minister Nicola Willis criticised for wearing UK dress on Budget day.”
Are you actually kidding me? This is what passes for news now?
Apparently, Beckett thought it was headline-worthy outrage that Willis wore a dress not made in New Zealand while delivering the country’s financial blueprint. She quotes Caroline Marr, an Auckland designer and (safe bet) a Green Party supporter, who moaned that Willis choosing a UK brand showed “total disrespect” to the local fashion industry.
The biggest issue facing New Zealand is the label inside the Finance Minister’s dress.
Meanwhile, the media, this country’s gutless, fashion-obsessed but politically toothless press, won’t say a single word about the full-blown costume party happening in parliament daily. So since the Herald won’t do its job, I’ll do it for them. Here are five actual fashion disasters sitting in our House of Representatives that no one in the media has the balls to criticise.
1. Benjamin Doyle
The Green MP who treats parliament like a runway at a bussy-fest. Tiny hats. Massive hei tiki pendants that scream “look, I’m sort of Māori, please like me”. And those pearl necklaces? It’s less professional attire and more cosplay. Parliament isn’t supposed to be a fashion statement or a cultural grab-bag. It’s supposed to be a place of leadership and policy.
2. Rawiri Waititi
Here’s a bloke who throws a tantrum if someone overseas dares do a haka, but struts into parliament dressed like a Māori Clint Eastwood. Cowboy hats, bolo ties and Air Jordans are his usual get-up, topped off with a full-face moko that makes him look more like a clown than a serious politician. You want to talk about disrespect? Start here.
3. Chlöe Swarbrick
Chlöe, the queen of beige. Brown jackets, grey trousers, drab shirts. Her whole wardrobe looks like it was lifted from a hospice donation bin or her great grandmother’s estate. And then there’s the time she wore a watermelon-coloured kippah, parodying Jewish symbols for the sake of some cheap performative point. But sure, let’s all pile on Nicola Willis for wearing a UK-made dress that actually looked good.
4. Debbie Ngarewa-Packer
The Te Pāti Māori co-leader who shows up dressed like a Victorian ghost hunter. Top hats, lacey throwbacks, and outfits that scream steampunk cosplay more than political professionalism. Honestly, she looks like she wandered out of a 19th-century circus. Fitting, since she leads one.
5. Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke
Te Pāti Māori’s youngest MP and another fashion crime in progress. She’s fond of berets, baggy tartan dresses and kapa haka routines that feel more like high-school assemblies than national politics. Her outfits seem to come straight from a student theatre wardrobe and yet the media is too scared to say a word.
This article was originally published on the author’s Substack.
