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We Don’t Have Time for Donkeys

Michael Wood says he is a “donkey”. We quite agree. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

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Minister for Auckland and Minister of Transport Michael Wood has declared himself a spirit donkey, whatever that is, in ensuring that the Auckland light rail project, as a government/Minister Wood vanity project, is to proceed, regardless of the fact that the country has some serious infrastructure issues to deal with in the aftermath of Gabrielle.

“If there was [sic] such a thing as a spirit animal then mine is a donkey. I just keep going with these things, and I’ll keep going with this one until we get it done.” (Otago Daily Times)

Michael Wood is donkey-deep in stupidity. Spirit animal? We need a human being with a reasonable grasp on reality, not a mystical beast. Not being familiar with spiritual animals, I had to find out just how the deluded man sees himself. Does he bite and kick? Apparently, yes. He also, it is said in my guide to spirit donkeys, has “a slow, cautious approach that may be considered lackadaisical”.

I have no wish at all to “Dig deeply into donkey symbolism and meaning to discover how this animal spirit guide can support, strengthen and inspire you!” I am not going to be inspired by any donkey, mystical, spiritual or a real one called Smokey that woke me most mornings in my childhood hee-hawing loudly from a nearby paddock.

Donkeys, while said to be smart, are not sufficiently smart to attend any form of education and whilst the Labour Government is happy to have Michael Wood as an honorary donkey, the man is a fool.

I remember a story my father delighted in telling, of a politician in parliament who said that ‘Mr XYZ doesn’t have the brains of a donkey.’ Called upon by the speaker to apologise, he did so, saying he was wrong, and Mr XYZ does have the brains of a donkey.

Michael Wood may be proud to be a donkey, but he may soon wish he had not claimed that, as he leaves himself open to ridicule for the rest of his parliamentary term.

Auckland’s light rail project is “absolutely” going ahead, according to the minister in charge of both Auckland and transport.

Michael Wood’s resolute commitment comes at a time when many state highways across the country are in dire need of repair in the wake of Cyclone Gabrielle.

But the minister says, now more than ever, it is important to invest in climate-friendly infrastructure.

“I am absolutely committed to this city and making these investments,” he said. “We cannot continue to kick the can down the road.”  

Otago Daily Times

While our North Island roading infrastructure has in parts been devastated, leaving many communities cut off and with our pot-holed thoroughfares washed out or battered to death by forestry slash, or fallen to obscurity down a steep bank, Michael Wood keeps on carrying on with this folly. The country cannot afford it.

This will not be an Auckland issue alone, the country as a whole – that is, every taxpayer – will pay for this.

And does the Mayor of Auckland City, Wayne Brown, think the project should proceed?

Auckland City councillor, North Shore Ward, Chris Darby, said “despite Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown’s scepticism, there was widespread support for the project around the council table.”

“But as for who was going to pay for all these tracks, he said it would absolutely not be the council.”

“Let’s be clear about that. It is a project of national significance taking place in Auckland, being funded directly from government.”

Michael Wood says that “the massive repair jobs around the country could go hand-in-hand with Auckland’s light rail network”.

Otago Daily Times

Kindly explain, Minister Wood. It seems difficult from a non-mystical donkey point of view to understand just how the repair, or not, as the case may be, of, eg, SH1 in the Far North, will go hand-in-hand with the Auckland light rail project. I await an explanation from a donkey.

The cost of the light rail is a huge issue:

[…] expert Timothy Welch, an urban planning senior lecturer from the University of Auckland, said the project was still hugely expensive. He told AM the project is the most expensive in the world and would be billions cheaper if it was built above ground.

“It’s two to three times more expensive per kilometre than any other light rail project in the world.”

But Wood said the government had to plan for the future.

“We’ve got to also have transport infrastructure that reduces our emissions,” he added.

Newshub

Two to three times more expensive per kilometre than any other light rail project in the world.”  (Emphasis added.) How can it possibly be that this country can be committed to such nonsense?

Hell, we can’t even drive on our roads with any degree of certainty they will not damage our vehicles in the pot holes that form, craterlike, overnight. And that is the roads that actually get to where the signposts say they are going. We have no safe roading system. While it is easy to focus on driver education and the associated topics (and yes we are to blame for the horrendous road death numbers), our roads are inherently unsafe. A motorway is the safest form of road in any country you care to google, and we don’t have enough motorways. We have a surfeit of greenies and loony policy instead. But we, or rather, Auckland, will have a light rail system. Fabulous.

“Building a functional, linked-up public transport system for our biggest city is basic transport policy.”

Newshub

Much of New Zealand, and with thanks not only to Gabrielle but to parlous roading policy over the last years, has no functional, linked up roading system let alone such a public transport system. Minister Wood should get his ass out to the regions and take a look for himself at roading reality.

The light rail project will cost billions more than we can imagine, and those dollars come from us, one way or another. It will not fit neatly into the numbers we are being asked to believe.

Treasury had given a wide range in its budget estimates for the light rail project – between $7.3 billion and $29.2 billion. However, Wood doubted the project would reach the upper limit of this range.

“The project in 2021 dollars, when the indicative business case was set, is approximately $11 billion. In inflated terms, over the delivery timeframe of the project, it’s approximately $14 billion.”

Otago Daily Times

Minister Wood is indeed a donkey. A real one. He should use his large ears to listen to what the public is saying. To listen to those appalled by the lack of government assistance for the victims of Gabrielle, to hear the distress of those who have lost loved ones, those now dispossessed, livelihoods destroyed and a long, very hard road ahead; there is no light rail strategy out of this. This is time to focus on the have to have, not the nice to have.

And still this ass of a minister proceeds with Auckland light rail.

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