Table of Contents
John Black
According to a report released today, wealthy individuals own 98% of Porsches in New Zealand. The government report entitled Sportscar Inequality in Aotearoa outlines the unjust distribution of luxury motorcars in the country.
The findings were seized upon by Green M.P Moana Lot as evidence of discrimination, racism, homophobia and the evils of capitalism. ‘ Porsches are only affordable by straight white men’ the Green MP ranted. ‘Minorities and women are shut out of Porsche ownership by things like their high price, racism, sexism and an inability to drive a stick shift. There simply must be changes made!’ Those suggested by the Green Party include free rainbow-coloured Porsches being made available for the LGBTQ+ community and a treaty-based solution involving Porsches shared between Maori and Pakeha. ‘The treaty is about partnership and if Porsches had existed at the signing of Te Tiriti we feel sure they would have been included. Our aim is to have a Porsche in every garage by 2030.’
When a government official was asked to explain the remaining 2% of Porsche owners, he replied;
‘They’re thieves.’
