Skip to content

What’s Happening Across the Ditch Today

The great Australian kelpie in action. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

Table of Contents

Well, that’s the parliamentary sitting year done, and for the Australian prime minister, it surely can’t have come quick enough. 2023 was a horror year for Anthony Albanese, once the glow of actually winning an election with the record-lowest primary vote in a century wore off. Mind you, it’s been even worse for Australia, with the Albanese-induced cost-of-living crisis going from dire to critical. But for Albanese and his government, it’s been one pratfall after another.

The government’s little red wagon really went off the rails with the ignominious drubbing of its “Indigenous Voice” referendum. They didn’t just lose it, they were beaten like an egg-stealing dog. And things just got worse from there.

Perhaps the crowning infamy of Albanese’s 2023 was his government’s mind-bogglingly botched response to the High Court’s bizarre decision to order the release of hundreds of violent foreign criminals. With no responding legislation in place to anticipate the widely-anticipated ruling, and without asking — as they were entirely entitled to do — for a stay of release, the government simply turned one hundred and fifty very, very bad wogs, including rapists and paedophiles, loose in the community.

You don’t have to be a genius to work out what happened next. Five of them have been re-arrested in just a few weeks, for crimes ranging from sexual assault to trying to groom children. The fifth was released, it turns out, despite an outstanding warrant.

Labor has been asked to explain how a stateless man with a history of violent and drink-driving ­offences was released into the community following the High Court’s “NZYQ” ruling, despite an outstanding warrant for his ­return to the prison system.

A more pertinent question might be: why was the Australian community ever put in such danger in the first place?

A 39-year-old man, William Yekrop, who came to Australia at age 16 after growing up during the second Sudanese civil war and being trained as a child soldier, became the fifth former detainee to be arrested after he was picked up by Queensland police at 9am on Thursday.

The Australian

Sounds like quite the model Multicultural poster boy.

But if Albo thinks his problems are going to go away in the haze of the summer break, he’s got another thing coming. Especially if already-struggling homeowners are whacked with a Scrooge-like Christmas interest rate hike, and more going into the new year.

The Reserve Bank board will now have to target inflation of 2.5 per cent, according to a new agreement with Jim Chalmers that economists have said could push the central bank into further rate hikes […]

The RBA hiked rates for a 13th time last month after inflation data suggested reaching the target by late 2025 was less likely.

Another imminent headache for the government comes courtesy of perennial migraine, Brittany Higgins. As more and more questions rise over Higgins’ $2.4 million compo handout, it’s all coming back to bite Labor, who so recklessly weaponised the entire shit-show for cheap political gain.

The Albanese government paid Brittany Higgins more than $2.4m compensation in a settlement that relied entirely upon the ­former Liberal staffer’s version of events, despite contrary versions from key witnesses who were excluded from a single-day mediation of her claim.

Lawyers described both the amount and the speed of the settlement – finalised just days after Bruce Lehrmann’s rape trial was abandoned in the ACT ­Supreme Court – as “extraordinary” and “unprecedented”.

If it walks like grift and quacks like a grift…?

Whoever the “legal minder” Higgins employs is so she “can’t do anything dumb” (in her own words), they must be beating their head on the desk.

In her last day of cross-examination in the Lehrmann defamation case against Channel 10 and journalist Lisa Wilkinson, Higgins testified that “the commonwealth ­admitted that they breached their duty of care and that they didn’t go through proper processes, so that’s actually why they ­settled with me”.

Except — that’s just another porky.

The deed of settlement – dated December 13, 2022 – expressly states that the parties have agreed to resolve all claims between them “without any ­admissions of liability”.

And there was another, secret clause, that appears to amount to practically a Star Chamber agreement.

The document reveals that the federal government ensured it was released from any future claims by Ms Higgins but left former Liberal ministers Linda Reynolds and Michaelia Cash open to further legal action by the former staffer, a carve-out clause that was not fully communicated to either of the two senators.

There are many more reasons for Australian taxpayers to query whether over $2 million of their money — the exact amount is also a matter of Higgins fudging the facts, as it turns out — should have been showered on the former staffer.

The deed shows that the total amount paid to Ms Higgins was $2.445m, not $2.3m as the former staffer stated in the Federal Court on Tuesday.

Ms Higgins received $1.48m for loss of earning capacity for 40 years; $400,000 for hurt, distress and humiliation; $220,000 for medical expenses; $100,000 for “past and future domestic assistance”; and $245,000 for legal costs.

Although Ms Higgins’ salary at the time was less than $78,000, her lawyers argued she “had a reasonable expectation of being promoted regularly and to eventually pursue her own political career” but had now “been diagnosed as medically unfit for any form of ­employment and has been given a very poor prognosis for future ­employment.”

The Australian

Except that she’s been all over social media, bragging about one high-powered job after another, since. That is, when she isn’t likewise bragging about holidays in the Maldives.

The government is still refusing to say who signed off on the whole deal, except to deny that Finance Minister Katy Gallagher, an old friend of Higgins’ boyfriend, was involved.

All in all, Anthony Albanese won’t be looking forward to next year, as his poll numbers continue to plunge.

Anthony Albanese heads into the Christmas break faced with a political repair job that has eluded most other recent prime ministers.

With the exception of the personal recovery that the pandemic afforded Scott Morrison after his approval levels fell to negative 22 following the summer bushfires, no prime minister other than John Howard has been able to turn around significant net negative levels of discontentment.

The Australian

Suffice to say, Albanese is no John Howard.

The big question, though, is: is Peter Dutton? Like Howard, Dutton can’t exactly rely on charisma to power his leadership. So far, though, he’s doing well enough without it.

Peter Dutton finished the 2023 parliamentary sittings in a political ascendancy over Anthony Albanese that was so complete, the Opposition Leader actually delivered a better annual Christmas message than the Prime Minister […]

The Prime Minister’s final answer of the year, with a complete list of Labor’s policies designed to cut the cost-of-living, had all the impact of reading a laundry list as some Labor MPs used computers, mobile phones or wrote Christmas cards.

Albanese’s Christmas message seemed to lack a focus and life while Dutton’s was composed, had a checklist of thanks and even mentioned Christianity.

After the Christmas messages Albanese left the chamber unaccompanied.

The Australian

You know what they say about wanting a friend in politics. Maybe Albanese will get a puppy for Christmas.

Latest