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‘An Important Message to my Country’ from Mr Underpants

Captain Underpants

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Satire

Things that we will never witness: An important message to my country from the Honourable Mr Underpants Bridges.

Just yesterday the Leader of the Communist Party of Aotearoa called me names, saying I was a ‘Denier’ and that I represent a threat to climate policy; and he’s right. I am!

I am a threat to the wealth-stealing, private property confiscation cabal that is the Reds and Greens of this fine land. I don’t need to remind you that Green is the colour that something Red turns when it’s utterly rotten, and they are putrid; they stink.

They stink because they pretend to be responsible and ethical yet truth is a complete stranger to them. Because if they wanted to tell the truth in the midst of this Oh-so-important climate ’emergency’, they would tell you wouldn’t they, what they fully intend it should cost you to remove a one-twenty-fifth of one percent, yes, that’s a 0.04% amount of a trace element, a plant food in fact, from the skies above New Zealand?

Why would they withhold this extremely important information from you? They’ve had it in their dirty, grubby, Green, stealing, sticky, stinking fingers for several weeks.

Because James Shaw is so mendacious and so gutless, he’s fully afraid to tell the public what he and his cohort of economic vandals have in mind for degrading your way of life. So the mantle has fallen to me. So here it is, from Treasury. Read it, and weep…New Zealand:

Look at those numbers; a hit to our economy of $215,900,000,000 by 2050 to remove carbon dioxide or, worse, to remove all ‘greenhouse’ gases. That is 247.5 Billion Dollars over just 4 decades. This is madness, it’s almost economic treason. How many new hospitals, schools, cancer-medications, public transport initiatives, clean-water plants, noxious pest-removal programmes, does this bill leech off, sucking the very life from? How many jobs does it destroy?”

If the number is too big to comprehend (the big lie is easier to sell than the small lie, some propagandist once said), just look one column left of the big numbers to see what the narcissist-in-thief intends you should contribute, every single household in the country, every year, year-on-year, to 2050 and beyond. The “GNDI” (that’s your Disposable Income folks) under either scenario it’s very close to $18,000 every year, an extra $370 per week taken, milked, from every home in the country in levies, taxes, fees, increased costs and ‘climate contributions’; for what?

To assert the execrable, unethical and dishonest James Shaw’s moral superiority, to fulfil his huge vanity project. To make him look good to his mirror, and his comrades. How on earth are worse-off families going to cope, or those on fixed incomes? The man makes me utterly sick, green to the gills in fact.


Alas, meantime, in the real world:

ONLY the ACT party voted no.

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