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The Minister for Education, Chris Hipkins announced today that degrees in virtue signalling will be available in all universities throughout New Zealand. They will start at Diploma and go right through to Doctorate level.
The well-known virtue signalling expert and twitter maestro, Dr Geronimaux Fountique-Welliver will have overall control of and input to the nation-wide launch.
It is expected that journalism schools, which have had virtue signalling as part of their curriculum since the 1990s, will also lend their extensive expertise.
In his latest Tik Tok video the Minister, Chris Hipkins said, “Dr Geronimaux has shown many times that ze can say exactly the right things at the right time. Zes prolific use of the salient, teenage fangirl comment “squeeee” on twitter has brought much international acclaim.”
“His doctorate, titled ‘How the cultural ramifications of suffocating the Neoliberal Industrial Military complex by indulging in excessive Gastronomy works to dismantle an unjust, white privileged, carbon-producing society’, was lauded as a tour de force by academia internationally”, he said.
He said, “The papers for degrees will cover everything from exploring the dynamic, positive, effects of shocking pink or electric blue hair colour; the correct weight ratio for sexual preference; the politically safe political parties to support; the importance of victim group identity; utilising cultural Marxism — and first-year stuff like who to follow on Twitter and when to pile in.”
In other virtue signalling news, the riots and demonstrations rocking an historic Middle Eastern Islamic university by foreign students claiming the founder was a slaver of Europeans hundreds of years ago, has ended.
When contacted, the head of the university said the matter had been resolved by publicly flogging the miscreants and expelling them from the country.
