Hibiscus Coast: An Absolutely Biased Guide to Auckland Local Elections

RATINGS GUIDE:

$ to $$$$$ with $ being a leftist trougher and $$$$$ being small government dynamo

For some, however, a clown is more appropriate. More than one may be awarded.

Hibiscus and Bays Local Board

Hibiscus Coast Subdivision

There are 14 candidates standing for four positions. You may cast up to four votes in this FPP election.

Gary Brown – Coast People and Penlink First $$$

The candidate profiles are meant to have been written by the candidate. Brown’s begins with

“Gary Brown is a community treasure…”

Gary says he has raised tens of thousands of dollars for charities and countless smiles for locals. That must come in handy if he ever helps out his wife, who is a funeral director. In policy terms, Gary Brown supports Penlink and “#ferrypower!” and upholding the Coast’s unique spirit (NIMBY).

I have it on good authority that Gary Brown is one hell of a local entertainer and that a party he performed at was the best they had ever attended.

John Davies – Positively Penlink $$$

The only new candidate who has attended every Local Board business meeting since March. Not only does that show commitment, but if anyone else claims the same he will be able to call out their bullshit.

Andy Dunn – Coast People and Penlink First $$$$

Andy has been self-employed for 44 years, raised over $100,000 for Variety Club and spent 25 years in Rotary (an apolitical body so I don’t know how they feel about him mentioning that).

I’m sure being “co-ordinator of Andy’s local Neighbour Watch” is simply a grammatical mistake and not creepy at all.

Someone who has been self-employed for that length of time is clearly competent and is not going to put up with bullshit from the troughers who are usually attracted to these positions.

John Field $$$

Spent 52 years (and counting) as a volunteer St Johns ambulance Officer. 15 years experience in local government on the Far North District Council, receiving a Citizens Award in 2009 I checked).

Tractor salesman. I’m not too familiar with Whangaparaoa but I hope the move south hasn’t impacted his sales.

Janet Fitzgerald – Positively Penlink $$$$

Janet has been on the local board for two terms thus far and got the highest number of votes for this subdivision in 2016. Janet received the Rotary Paul Harris Fellow Award for community service this year. The only tarnish I can find on Fitzgerald is her vote against opening up Local Board workshops to the public. I pity the person who would actually want to attend but the principle still counts.

Alezix Heneti

I already covered Heneti in the Council race. She’s covering all her bases and lazily has not written a different candidate profile for the local board, so I’m just going to paste it here:

“I Love God, New Zealand and Auckland. I’m grateful to live in Orewa. I am Heart. I like facts. I am alive, alert, awake and enthusiastic. I am outstanding and awesome. Being a Landmark Forum graduate and Landmark Advance graduate I discovered the possibility of freedom, joy, and love. Being a John Kehoe Mind Powers Quantum Leap graduate trained by Robin Banks, I discovered I am outstanding, awesome, and amazing. I stand for freedom. 022-3863646. I stand for Aucklanders. /linkedin/alezixheneti. I stand for the community/twitter/alezixheneti; alezixhenetiusa@gmail.com; facebook/alezixheneti.com.

I am Centre Right.

Happy to represent you.”

Stephen Lyttelton – Positively Penlink $

This guy loves the arts and wants a “fair share of funding from Auckland Council” so he can pour more ratepayer money into theatre. He’s the Chair of the Estuary Arts Centre and wants to plug more of your money into the Estuary Arts Centre.

If the Arts Centre can’t stand on its own feet in a free market, it is clearly shit and Lyttelton can F off.

Sam Mills – Independent $$$$$

Mills is a barrister in Auckland, having previously run a consulting business. Skills that would be useful in an environment regular people would find ludicrously dull. He is pro-Penlink, pro-road, pro-bus, pro-transparency and keen to ensure ratepayers aren’t footing the bill to clean up after unsanctioned freedom camping. If you visit his website I’m sure you’ll find him as impressive as I do.

Eva Penfold – Coast People and Penlink First $$

Supports sensible transport infrastructure that cuts congestion. I guess we will disagree on the addition of ferries in this category. Owns a dog, wants a fenced dog park area.

I’m highly sceptical of candidates who advocate ratepayers funding a thing they like doing. Dogs are more fun than theatre but generate similar quantities of shit.

Brent Robinson – Positively Penlink $$$$$

This name reminded me that I had penned a voting guide in 2013 and that Brent Robinson was my recommendation for the Albany ward. It is a great pity he was unsuccessful as this campaign video from the time shows. He declined to try again in 2016 but this time he is back! With an accounting background and successful business career behind him, I think he is aiming a bit low but absolutely deserves to be elected!

Claire Teirney – Independent $

A dog owner who organised an petition for a dog park at Green Road Reserve.

Larry Tompkins

Surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve come across the phrase ‘common sense’ in this election. It won’t be the last. If common sense were a virtue, communism would be a success.

Has served 11 years on the Flight Attendants Union Executive. His profile includes the promise, “Auckland’s Mayor will be asked by me to get Council Verses (sic) Council out of the courts and build a seawall for Orewa Beach.”

I’m sure that will be amusing.

David Walding $

David is the most attractive candidate standing but I’m only shallow enough to mention it, not vote for it.

His profile includes “Areas I would also like to focus on are Transport, Tourism, Cultural Awareness, Heritage, Education, Recreation and a co-mingled society between Generation Z to the baby boomers. To ensure we promote our assets and make the most of every opportunity.”

A lot of things in there are not Local Board business, should not be Council business and are not really his business either.

Leanne Wills – Coast People and Penlink First $$

Wills is a Senior Trustee for an organisation providing wills. She also has a background in hosting karaoke shows, DJ shows, public speaking and karaoke production.

If she is local board material, that profile doesn’t suggest it.

MY RECOMMENDATION: You get four votes.

• Brent Robinson – Positively Penlink
• Sam Mills – Independent
• Andy Dunn – Coast People and Penlink First
• Janet Fitzgerald – Positively Penlink.

https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/albany-ward-an-absolutely-biased-guide-to-auckland-local-elections/ https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/hold-the-press-a-sneak-peek/ https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/faq-an-absolutely-biased-guide-to-auckland-local-elections/ https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/an-absolutely-biased-guide-to-auckland-local-elections/