“What else can I say? Everything is gay” – Kurt Cobain
A few years ago, a flounce of gay activists (that is the correct collective noun, yes?) declared Prince George a ‘gay icon’. Solely on the basis that the then-four-year-old expressed his open delight at getting a helicopter ride with his dad. Now, you’d think that so grotesquely sexualising a child would cause even most flaming ‘queer’ activist to slink away in shame – but, no. Leading El Gibbity publication Pink News doubled down on their open paedophilia, insisting that children “should be encouraged to find” their “sexuality”.
Remember: this was a four-year-old boy they were drooling over.
It shouldn’t surprise us, though. Like the ‘We Wuz Kangz’ Afro-Centrists, and ‘Islamic Golden Age’ loons, homo activists are desperate to claim everything that’s ever been, or ever will be, as ‘gay’.
It’s almost like they’re trying to over-compensate for something.
I once considered pitching publishers a book called 101 Things That Are Now Suddenly Gay, cataloguing the increasing number of completely non-gay things that fanatical homos now claim are gay after all, from ball bearings to hovercraft, upon no rational basis whatsoever.
Yet I have already been beaten to it by a temporary daily series from the pages of lefty UK newspaper the Guardian to celebrate this summer’s annual Gay Pride Month(s). This was called “My Unexpected Pride Icon” and was basically my old proposed book in short serial form – but taken seriously, not as a rainbow-mocking joke.
For instance, grim-faced rug-muncher Lucy Knight tried to lay claim to a vegetarian cookbook. Because – and this is not a joke – it means she won’t be putting any meat in her body.
Other similarly substantial “proof” the book is gay includes that the recipes are all very quick to make, half an hour at most, which is important because “booked and busy lesbians” like Lucy just don’t have much time to spare faffing around with utensils in kitchens like leisured straight trad-wives do.
Well, they’re clearly not playing hide the sausage and the beans they’re flicking aren’t in the kitchen.
Surely it is more likely that the true reason why a vegetarian cookbook should be full of vegetarian recipes is actually so it can appeal toward vegetarians, rather than toward lesbians?
If you thought that was ridiculous, how about the Grauniad’s resident poofs trying to claim to a film genre noted for nothing if not hot chicks getting their tits out: the ’80s slasher.
How are slasher movies gay? Because they feature lots of young men repeatedly being stabbed hard and fast from behind by older guys until they begin to bleed uncontrollably? No, because the heroic schoolchild main protagonists in them ultimately foil their would-be murderers and “emerge as survivors,” just like real-life queer kids often “emerge as survivors” from teenage torment at the hands of homophobic classroom bullies likewise. If films involving survivors are now automatically gay, that means Schindler’s List is also highly queer, doesn’t it?
In one of the best episodes of the unfailingly hilarious The IT Crowd, the boys are dragged by Jen to see Gay! A Gay Musical, which features the show-stopper, “I Love Willies”.
Especially if they’re free, apparently.
Another unbelievably gay movie, at least according to an article by limp-wristed word-wrangler Louis Staples, is Free Willy, the 1993 children’s adventure about an abused whale escaping from captivity in a giant aquarium, then swimming away into the wide blue ocean – and the consequent liberatory freedom to be who he really is: a deep-sea deviant […]
Staples does admit that “Free Willy isn’t queer in any explicit sense.” Yet Staples still appeared to find the marine mammal strangely appealing nonetheless: “In Free Willy…the film’s star is fairly helpless, like a slippery overgrown puppy who communicates through whining noises that are adorable and distressing.”
Except that Willy the orca didn’t catch monkeypox. We can only be thankful, I guess, that he was an orca and not a sperm whale. Or a humpback whale, come to think of it. (The cetacean double-entendres are endless: surely I could work something about ‘flogging the dolphin’ in there…)
So, what’s behind all the flaming cultural appropriation? A collective feeling of inadequacy? Or something else?
Notice how none of these people choose as a “gay icon” any cultural artifact that is actually gay, just things that are gay only within the confines of their own strange little heads […] Another way of putting this is that such people are really just a bunch of pathological narcissists.
The same narcissism as the revolting spectacle of the wave of late-onset male-to-female ‘transgenders’. In their case, it’s a psychopathology called ‘autogynephilia’: these are men who get off on imagining themselves as women.
The ‘everything is gay’ homos are just as addicted to preening in the mirror, just sans their mother’s stolen undergarments.
Reputedly, that habitual player of pink pianos Liberace once persuaded his much younger lover to undergo plastic surgery to make him look more like…Liberace himself. Then Liberace would bend the boy over his instrument and tickle his ivories in front of a large mirror, so he could observe the closest thing there was to himself having sex with himself in glorious close up. The queer writers of the Guardian seem to inhabit a similar mentally masturbatory Hall of Mirrors too.
When they were told to go fuck themselves, they weren’t supposed to take it literally.
