John Robertson
The 2025 edition: where your kid might get a morning prayer to Māori gods, your government job may come with a compulsory haka and, if you question any of it, you’re a racist. That’s the country we’re living in – where forced cultural rituals are the norm, not the exception, and where secularism is now just a dusty concept buried under a pile of race-based laws and bureaucratic guilt.
So here’s a little mission I’ve cooked up: Make New Zealand Secular. That’s right. No more institutionalised spiritual theatre, no more taxpayer-funded tribalism and no more guilt-tripping the entire population into pretending we’re all spiritually connected to a goddamn tree because the Ministry of Ethnic Cosiness said so.
Anthropology 101: Ethnic Blending
Let’s start with the basics. Anthropology says there’s one race: the human race. And let’s be blunt – there’s no such thing as a ‘pure’ anything anymore. You think there’s some ancient, untouched bloodline walking around New Zealand? Newsflash: Māori have been breeding with non-Māori since the 1800s. Intermarriage, mixed kids, blended families – it’s not some fringe exception: it’s the bloody rule.
So next time someone tries to tell you Māori are a distinct people who require unique laws, rights, and funding – ask them how many ancestors they actually have that aren’t Māori. The whole ideology of race-based policy collapses the moment you realise most of the people benefitting from it wouldn’t pass a purity test by their own standards. Thank God for that.
Race-based Laws? Oh, We’ve Got Plenty
Let’s take a tour of the legislative circus.
Māori Wards in local councils? Check.
Separate consultation rights on environmental law? Check.
Special seats in Parliament? Yep, still there.
Race-prioritised hospital triage? You bet your overtaxed arse.
Even though the Māori Health Authority was unplugged by the new coalition Government (hallelujah), the ripple effects of race-based preference in the healthcare system still linger. Māori patients can still receive preferential pathways or treatment considerations based on ethnicity. It’s medical apartheid with a pretty face and a grant from the Crown.
Let’s Talk Schools: The Indoctrination Station
Now let’s visit the kiddies. Schools are no longer places to learn: they’re temples of spiritual obedience. Your six-year-old might not know how to spell photosynthesis, but she/he can probably lead a karakia praising Atua before eating her taxpayer-funded fruit.
They’ve slipped spiritual indoctrination into the Te Whāriki curriculum like a Trojan horse. Atua (gods), mauri (life force) and wairua (spirit) aren’t just discussed – they’re practiced. Morning karakia, chants, blessings...If you swapped out ‘Atua’ for ‘Jesus’, you’d have a legal riot. But label it ‘culture’ and, suddenly, it’s sacred, compulsory and above criticism.
And don’t get me started on high schools. Try opting your kid out of a pōwhiri without being called a colonialist fascist. You’ll get side-eyed by Karen from PTA while a half-bored deputy principal explains it’s ‘just part of our values now’.
Equal? Yeah, Right
They keep yelling ‘we’re a bicultural nation’ like it’s a gospel. No, we’re not. We’re multicultural, multilingual (some of us even know Cantonese or Hindi) and we are not obligated to pretend that one group’s ancestral mythology should dictate state policy.
You want to know how deep the rot goes? Try questioning why government departments are now issuing reports in a language 95 per cent of the country doesn’t speak fluently. We’ve got officials in parliament flipping between English and Māori while 99 per cent of viewers just wait for the subtitles or hope someone will switch to something the population actually understands. It’s virtue-signalling theatre for the political elite and the joke’s on us.
The Big Lie: The Treaty
Oh, here we go. The holy document. The Treaty of Waitangi – the sacred scroll that gets waved around every time someone demands more funding, more legal privileges and more cultural control.
Let’s make this clear: the Treaty is not the Ten Commandments. It’s not the New Zealand Constitution. It’s a historical document, signed in 1840, during a time when people still believed in phrenology and bleeding people with leeches. If you think this piece of paper should control modern policy, you’re a clown – and a dangerous one at that.
The Treaty has been twisted into a catch-all justification for race-based policy. “We must honour the Treaty!” No. What we must do is honour equality under the law. Anything else is apartheid in sheep’s clothing.
What Needs To Happen
Dismantle Every Race-Based Policy: No more ‘by Māori, for Māori’ health services. No more ethnic quotas. No more special voting rights.
Reclaim Education: Remove spiritual practices from public schools. If you want to teach mythology, do it in history class. Stop dressing it up as enlightenment.
Strip Out the Legal Bias: No more automatic ‘partnership’ rights for iwi. No more separate consultation processes. If you want to be heard, stand in line with everyone else.
Audit Every Department: Shine a light on every cent of taxpayer money that funds race-based training, language revival fantasy camps or decolonisation workshops for white guilt-ridden bureaucrats.
Amend or Abandon the Treaty Industry: Create a fixed endpoint. Settlements end. Reparations end. Grievance culture ends.
The Bottom Line
New Zealand is broken. Not because we don’t value culture – but because we’ve allowed one culture, one worldview and one race-based political ideology to hijack the system.
This isn’t about Māori vs non-Māori. It’s about every Kiwi having the same rights, the same treatment and the same freedoms, without fear of being labelled, gaslit, or silenced.
You want equality? Then act like it. Scrap the double standards. End the racial favoritism.
Make New Zealand secular. Or keep playing this two-tier tribal game until the entire country’s run like a mana-based Monopoly board.
Your move, New Zealand.
