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Earlier today the police moved quickly to arrest large numbers of experts, editors, reporters and academics – all accused of the most unprincipled dissemination of fake news in the history of Aotearoa.
Examples of the fake news headlines. Image credit HangonaMin. The BFD
A spokesperson for the justice department said they would run the country on a temporary basis until fair and free elections could be held next week under level zero. The spokesperson also said that it was ironic that the government had been arrested under the harsh new fake news laws they themselves had rushed in under urgency.
The whole Ardern government is behind bars at the moment – the exception being Jacinda as she has repeatedly admitted in public that she knows nothing about anything and is basically just a trained parrot so can’t be held accountable for stuff she has only repeated.
“But”, the spokesperson said, “she will be jailed on another matter. While I can’t give you the full details, it has something to do with the early part of hard and early.”
“Facebook rumours that she has been arrested for crimes against the English language while plausible are fake news. As is the fabrication that she is Donald Trump’s love child.”
As regards this morning’s arrests, the discredited perps have claimed they were arrested on a conspiracy theory and as Jacinda is the only source of truth because she said she was, it can’t be fake news. The justice department countered with Jacinda or not, the fact is that it was not a conspiracy theory because the evidence is all there, in archived news stories.
The Justice spokesperson also said, “it is possible however that they may have the conspiracy bit right. A case could be made that there was a deliberate move to bankrupt the country by inciting fear, panic and confusion and using the grotesque exaggeration that up to 80,000 people would die unless the whole country was locked down.”
“Although every death is unfortunate, Sweden has shown that without a lockdown and double the population of Aotearoa it has had just over 6000 deaths and they, unlike New Zealand, are not an Island state at the bottom of the world. Applying the accused’s scenario to Sweden should have seen 160,000 deaths at least”
“The fake news, of 80,000 deaths without lockdown, was fear mongering in the extreme”.
In a separate matter, the Justice spokesperson also said Greenpeace and their political wing the Green Party, were under investigation for historic fake news about global warming which is costing Aotearoa billions. According to their fake news over the years, most of the world should be underwater by now.
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