The British comedian Harry Enfield once brilliantly satirised Tony Blair and NewLabour MPs – particularly their ability to speak utter twaddle convincingly – in a most hilarious skit. It showed a NewLabour MP winning their seat at the 1997 UK General Election and giving the following victory speech:
“Yesterday is gone and past; today is the day before tomorrow; tomorrow is another day. Yesterday is two days away from tomorrow; tomorrow will be today, tomorrow; and the day after tomorrow will be the day before yesterday“
This weekend has seen the National Party conference held in Christchurch. From what I understand the conference has gone well; there seems a genuine sense of unity and feeling a change of government is in the air. Let’s hope so because New Zealand is finished as a nation if the socialist party remains in office much longer.
The only disappointing aspect of the conference was the speech by Chris Luxon. Using the hated “Kia Ora” greeting didn’t exactly get things off to a good start, and from then on it appears to have descended into the sort of silliness reminiscent of the NewLabour MP’s victory speech.
“..Most importantly, I want to thank all of you – the members, the volunteers, the backbone and beating heart of this party. There is no National Party without you…” (you don’t say, sherlock!)
“…My vision is for a more confident, positive, ambitious and aspirational New Zealand than we know today...” (such as?)
“…A country that meets its emission reduction targets...” (uh oh!)
“…Don’t we all want to live in a New Zealand that embraces diversity and multi-culturalism, recognises the Treaty...” (ummmm, not really, no)
“…A country that emphasizes what unites us, instead of what divides us…” (Twaddle!)
“…We need the Government to tell us when we’ll get an appointment at the hospital. We need the Government to keep us safe from gangs and street violence. We need the Government to get kids back to school…” (Twaddle!)
“..If you think of the economy like a car, then the Government and Reserve Bank have been squashed together in the driver’s seat, pushing the accelerator flat to the floor. Now, like some terrified passenger realising the car’s going too fast, the Bank’s pressing down hard on the brake...”
Oh for goodness sake! (who wrote this nonsense?)
“…every incoming National Government since 1960 has inherited an economic mess from Labour. In 1975. In 1990. In 2008. We certainly know what to expect in 2023…” (and so….yes?)
“…National wants all New Zealanders to be able to pursue their aspirations. A good education, followed by a job, is the best and usually the only long-term path to achieving this...” (Twaddle!)
The only part of his speech which was worthwhile was this:
“…New Zealanders can see and sense that we’re heading in the wrong direction. Today, we feel insecure about things we once assumed were solid. Things we’ve taken for granted now seem uncertain. I sense it. I see it…”
He then went and dropped this twaddle immediately afterwards:
“…Only National can provide the hope that things can be different. Only National can deliver the prosperity New Zealand deserves. Only National can build the strong economy New Zealand needs. National Party members, my enduring promise to you all is that, under my leadership, National will be the government that New Zealand needs, and National will take New Zealand forward...”
https://thebfd.co.nz/2022/08/08/luxons-speech-at-the-national-party-conference/
(let me guess, the day after yesterday is the day before tomorrow?)
Giving you a B-minus. Chris: must do better.
