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Old White Guy Follows Bilingual Signs and Ends up in Aotearoa

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John Black

stuffednz.co


‘It was the most traumatic experience of my life’ wheezed 78-year-old Ray Whithers. ‘I was just driving home from the R.S.A and following those new road signs…y’know the ones with the Maori on them…and I got lost. Before I knew it I was in some strange new land I didn’t recognize.

I stopped to use a public bathroom and they charged me $20 just for flushing the toilet…said it was the charge for Pakeha using water. Everything seemed to be made of flax and the only thing on TV was endless kapa haka. Everyone was speaking in Maori…I didn’t know what was going on. I got back in my car and booted it the hell out of there.’

When asked by Stuffed what he thought had happened to him, Ray was still confused. ‘Well I think it was some kind of time travel…I just don’t know if it was into the past or the future…’

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