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Pssst…yes you over there. Now is your chance to get your hands on the really good shit.
Premium quality, all you need for your Christmas party and your personal hygiene needs.
For a strictly limited time, we are offering the single-use Ban Bag, full to the brim with genuine plastic cutlery, stripy plastic bendy straws and our most popular item right now, the very hard to find plastic box of cotton buds.
HURRY now. Stocks are very limited. The government has not offered a plastic buyback so businesses will be going out of business left, right and centre and those that survive will be raising their prices.
We are sorry but we are unable to sell E-category fruit stickers as even we criminals have lines that we will not cross. Those stickers are just too adhesive and are not worth the risk of getting stuck with.
- Don’t be forced to clean your ears with toothpicks
- Save on the washing up this Christmas season with our contraband cutlery
- Sip cool drinks this summer with straws that don’t fall apart in your mouth.
This Labour-led coalition government doesn’t care about your comfort or convenience.
We do.
Text us now 555 The BAN BAG
