Information
Satire
BILLY THE KID:
OUTLAW BILLY THE KID, (Billy Te Kahika) of the FRINGE GANG pre-empted the RED QUEEN’S announcement about us all being lasso’d up again by about three weeks. How did he know?
The RODEO is going full tilt folks.
That quill-dipper at the “Ferald” BRAINS but no BRAUN (Braunias) said BILLY THE KID Could become a Federal Marshal. BTK is not STOOPID which could make him dangerous plus he plays Blues at the Hootenannies. What is there not to like?
He is largely ignored by the rags, which means he has something to offer.
He already has more cowhands on his dance-card than the TWERK (Seymour)
Plus he is in third place as popular leader along with the CHAMELEON (Peters).
What are the BAD BOYS OF BREXIT doing for The CHAMELEON?
A picture of the GREEN-EYED leaders with Pixie Dust and Unicorns on FACE-ON Won’t do it, he needs something stronger! Like a malt whisky perhaps?
I think he has found it! Maybe not the ‘boat people’ but he is tellin’ ABC Ockers that the latest incursion of the COVID GANG is a border breach and he knows where it is. This is a quick draw on Missie Ardern And DOC BlOOMFIELD on his own Posse.
As he said he likes to “draw from the hip, not the lip”. If the CHAMELEON knows where the breach is why don’t those running the SALOON?
I couldn’t help noticin’ big gun HOPALONG Cassidy (Hipkins) was brought in for back-up for DOC BLOOMFIELD at the latest showdown with ‘NEWSPEAK’.
He look’d like he wanted to Hopalong real quick, when asked why the border checkin’Cowboys had not passed the ‘TEST’ themselves. He said previously Border Cowhands could not be forced at gun-point to pass the test, but they are now.
RED QUEEN:
Her slogan is “Let’s keep Moving” so as I told MAGIC PLUNKET let her move the date for election for Sheriff seein’ we’re all lasso’d down at the moment.
Perhaps we could have it the same date as BIG BAD DON’S election in November and we could all wear our MAGA hats (Make Adern Go Away).
Are you listening Toddy?
Heather (HOS) rag has already said Missie Ardern had lost her ‘Trump Card’ which was COVID free New Zealand. No wonder DOC BLOOMFIELD was looking as ‘sick as a parrot on the AM.
GALLOPIING GARNER got him a ‘GOTCHA’.
He asked him why all cowhands at the borders were not tested like stage-coach drivers and the like…
The question was NOT answered and a lot of DISCOMBOBULATION took place. This is why it was D DAY accordin’ to Garner.
The RED QUEEN and DOC BLOOMFIELD know they have done a BLOOMER.
It ain’t no wonder they were warnin’ of further LOCK-INS and OUTLAW MASKS prior to Monday night’s telegraph alert.
My Deputy (Wyatt Earp) weighed in with “the timin’ was ‘INTERESTING”
GARNER said he only pray’d for the outcome of Rugby Tests, but he might start PRAY’N now. Especially as the JAFFA GANG has been lasoo’d down for two weeks.
MELLOW YELLOW:
The Ponsonby types made sure Leotard Lil lost out to ‘Whiter shade of Pale’ MELLOW YELLOW (Miss Mellow)
This was help’d along by alter-ego ‘MANUREWA MERV’ who telegraph’d LUSHIE saying he was confused.
Who needs enemies when you have got friends like this?
MELLOW YELLOW went all Churchllian 1940’s when she won, sayin’ “We will fight them on the beaches”. What beaches was she referr’n to? If I recall rightly durin’ the last lock-in beaches were ‘outlaw’d altogether, let alone tryin’ to pick a fight on one
Some people talk to their dolls for consolation, but my phonograph talks to me like DONOVAN is at the moment.
“I’m just mad about Saffron, Saffrons mad about me,
I’m just mad about Saffron, She’s just mad about me.
They call me MELLOW YELLOW (quite rightly)
They call me mellow yellow (quite rightly)
They call me mellow yellow.Born high forever to fly, Wind velocity nil,
If you want your cup our full.
They call me Mellow Yellow (quite rightly)
They call me Mellow Yellow.”
They won’t be calling ME Mellow Yellow because as I told them on the shores of TAUPO we are going to crush ‘PATCHES’ and I don’t mean cabbage patches.
SWEETIE (Paula) can beg for me to go on ‘MAGIC’ but she was one of KEY’s ‘MY KITCHEN RULES ‘gang, and I keep a grudge as you know.
YI-HA,
Here’s looking at you kid (Ardern)
Down the Hatch,
PUNCH and JUDY
If you enjoyed this BFD satirical article please share it.
