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Sheriff Collins and the Return of the COVID Gang.

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This has been the ‘WEEK THAT WAS’.
Some of the pixie dust has fallen off the Princess.
Those who were blinded by the Cult of the RED QUEEN have had the scales fall from their eyes, journos and profs alike.

MICHAEL THE ARCH ANGEL (Morrah) has been sent down by Heaven’s HUB to show us the way.

It’s not the first time he has asked awkward questions of the MINISTRY OF TRUTH (Health)
When he could not engage DOC BLOOMER (Bloomfield) in the TRUTH he produced his own figures which showed nearly two-thirds of border facing staff had not been tested for the COVID virus, despite constant reassurance that they had.

Finally, at the ‘Weekend Stuff Up’ at the Saloon SHOOT FROM THE HIP (Hipkins) admitted that the BIG LEVER of compulsory testing had not been pulled. DOC BLOOMER had actually told the HOSK that you can’t “round up people like sheep”.

DOC BLOOMER tried to do his ‘Don’t mention the border’ deflection by putting the blame on chicken wings from Melbourne. SHOOT FROM THE HIP did his deflection by excoriating fake news bloggers and then pointing out he alone was the SOURCE OF TRUTH. If he is an example, I would look elsewhere.

Our RED QUEEN defended herself lamely by saying Border Cowhands refused the TEST but it turns out that asymtomatic ones were not offered one.

While DOC BLOOMER did not actually call the RED QUEEN a LIAR, he said there was some “DISSONANCE” going on.

As Clear to be Claire (Trevitt) has pointed out what was previously held as GOSPEL in COVID Times has been called into question by the townsfolk.
This is the reason for constant refrains of “We are the source of truth”.
You could be forgiven for thinking we are in a Gulag in the old Soviet Union.

Derek Cheng at the ‘FERALD’ has stumbled on the TRUTH. He said he had a horrible sense of DEJA VU, when a member of the COVID GANG was found at RYDGES SALOON. He thought “lightning had struck twice”. He was referin’ to the previous TWO ESCAPED SISTERS of the COVID GANG.

Though the CHAMELEON  (Peters) has not revealed the source of the latest COVID cluster DOC BLOOMER has said the guilty party is a lift at the RYDGES Saloon.
It begs the question of how many of the COVID GANG can fit into a lift at any one time.

Anyway, two of the BIG GUNS from the RED QUEEN’S past have been brought in to oversee the MINISTRY OF TRUTH. How many overseers is that now? They will run out of them soon. Who will oversee the overseers?

Those few remaining unrepentant JACKAROOS (media hacks) previously discombobulated by the RED QUEEN’S ‘Smoke and Mirrors’ should tune in to Johnny Nash on my phonograph.

“I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW”. I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It’s gonna be a Bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day Oh, Yes I can make it now the pain has gone, All of the  blue skies bad feelings have disappeared , Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for. Look all around there’s nothing but blue skies, Look straight ahead there’s nothing but blue skies, It’s gonna be a Bright (bright) Bright (bright’ Sun Shiny day

APOCALYPSE NOW:

The RED QUEEN has just pinch’d the  COVID CARD plan off us. We intend to pull SHOOT FROM THE HIP’S  BIG LEVER and have returning townsfolk take the TEST BEFORE they reach our borders not AFTER.
This is a small price to pay for getting into GOD’S OWN.
Too much of a price for the GREEN-EYED GANG who thinks it’s divisive, but they would say that wouldn’t they?

BIG DON:

The not nearly so TOXIC TOVA asked me what I thought about BIG DON’S comments on the so-called Spike in NEW ZEALAND COVID numbers? Whatever makes you look good DON!
Think of our exports! We’ve already made a faux pas over the MAGA hat! If anythin’ else reaches his ears, we will be one eye short of the five eyes!

I swiftly put TOVA onto OUTLAW JESSIE JAMES (Shaw) who provided the obligatory comment:” Trump talks rubbish every single day and we’re looking forward to seeing the back of him”. He’s not the only one the townsfolk are waitin’ to see the back of.

Ho Hum!
It turns out the first nine days of Lock-In were not legal.
At least the election has been put off for a bit. The CHAMELEON probably played a part, he normally does.
I am trying to CRUSH that Jack-in-the-box conspiracy from popping out, but I couldn’t help noticin’ that the latest LOCK-IN with the JAFFAS put paid to my hootenanny for Sheriff and the townsfolk’s ANTI – LOCKDOWN gathering as well.
Smart move RED QUEEN!

“Let’s keep Movin” as your slogan says.
One of her Comrades Navalny has been given the Poisoned Chalice or was that a Cup of Tea in Siberia? He should have taken a flask.
It couldn’t happen here, could it?

Yi-Ha,
Here’s lookin’at you kid (Ardern)
Down the Hatch,
Punch and Judy.

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