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Satire
The Empress has no clothes someone tell her.
I couldn’t help notic’ that on Tuesday’s AM show the corners of the RED QUEEN’S mouth were down, rather than up like they usually are.
She was asked if there had been ‘STUFF-UPS’ at the border
There was the usual ‘deflection’ when she said it was a GLOBAL pandemic ignoring the fact it had happened at our borders. This was followed by a tight smile, not the usual wide one.
But GALLOPING GARNER (Garner) was ready for her. He had another go and asked her if PHIL GOFF (JAFA’s Mayor) was right about ‘STUFF-UPS’ at the border. He had already asked GOFF if the RED QUEEN had ‘dropped the ball’ on this.
Our Dr. Reti managed to elicit from the MINISTRY OF TRUTH (Health) that not all in MIQ had been tested on Day 3. This is important in ascertaining if the COVID GANG caught the bug from over the border. DOC BLOOMER (Bloomfield) had given the impression (false) that all in MIQ had been tested twice before being released.
This gave the TWERK (Seymour) an opportunity to say “they are making it up as they go along”. My Deputy gave backing to the TWERP about a complaint that the public servant DOC BLOOMER had appeared in what we considered an electioneering video. This was taken down by the RED QUEEN thankfully.
This begs the question though of who is in charge of the border? It’s looking more like Monty Python’s Flying Circus as we go along, with two new performers added last week.
CLAIRE AS CLEAR (Trevitt) said COVID-19 has been renamed the “TRICKY VIRUS”
Which means no one is to be blamed if we can’t get a handle on it.
My idea is that we have one Border Protection Agency in charge of everything.
The CHAMELEON (Peters)said he came up with the idea the day before we did but called it the Force.
He’s been watching too many Star Wars movies.
It seems the church people are taking a hit in COVID Times but they can take comfort in Psalm 18v2: “The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer.”
LOCK-IN:
This was naturally extended and we are told to be STRONG and KIND by you know who. It’s wearin’ a bit thin me dear!
Cripes! Last week we had BIG DON sticking his nose in, now we have Madeline Grant from the ‘SUNDAY TELEGRAPH’ doin’ the same. The ‘FERALD’ had a cartoon grappling with it on Tuesday featuring the RED QUEEN sayin’ who needs experts when you’ve got Madeline Grant?
This quill-dipper from the ‘old country’ writes:
NEW ZEALAND’s LUST for Lockdown is the latest example of vapid political virtue signalling. New Zealand may have contained the virus for now with the lowest mortality rates in the OECD, but it has taken draconian policies and economic pain to get there.
That’s tellin’ yer, isn’t it.
There may have been some truth in what BIG DON said, “it’s over for Noo Zeeland.” Front page ‘FERALD’ Wednesday reads “Team of 5m: We’re over it.”
I am not aware of any JAFA’S (Aucklanders) starving to death over lockdown Level 3 but two and a half million BEES did in Hellensville. Waikato workers were detained at the borders and couldn’t escape to feed them. Goodbye BEES. RIP.
I feel sorry for the Queenstown businesses who are not getting the influx of JAFA’s who were replacing the Ockers. When you attack the head of the serpent (Auckland) it affects others. Air flights to Queenstown are either very expensive or very rare. The devil is in the detail.
JOURNO JASON (Wells) the quill-dipper at the ‘FERALD’ writes that the JAFA’S have lost over $1bn in revenue since Lock-IN.
All this is reminiscent of the Eagles song ‘HOTEL CALIFORNIA’ where you can check out but never leave. It’s playing now on my phonograph.
“Welcome to the Hotel California,
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face,
They livin’ it up at the Hotel California,
What a nice surprise, (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis.Last thing I remember ,
I was running for the door,
I had to find the passage back to where I was before.
“Relax” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive”
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave.
THE CHAMELEON:
THE CHAMELEON (Peters) was telling AIRWAVES PETE (Williams) that even though he has had dinner with BAD BOY of BREXIT Aaron Banks who has been in NZ some months he is not a friend of his.
It has been reported that not quite the ‘DIRTY DOZEN’ but six operatives have been in NZ.
Last month Banks told the ‘DAILY TELEGRAPH’ in Britain that he was going to enter guerilla warfare over NZ’s election.
The CHAMELEON should not waste time killing the messenger JOURNO JASON. This will get him nowhere.
Though I have to give the CHAMELEON credit where it’s due. Peters has sided with us in reconvening the Health Committee on the last day of parliament. DOC BLOOMER has been invited to attend.
I’m glad I’m head of the opposition here rather than in Russia. It’s a stark choice of shooting, poisoning, blinding or dare I say it – crushing. It’s back to Henry ll. “Who will rid me of this troublesome priest?”
Good luck Navalny.
Who doesn’t like us? Someone has hacked our Share Exchange.
Over in ‘Old Blighty’ the wokeist BBC have banned the lyrics of two favs of the Brits, ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ and ‘Rule Britannia’ from their hootenanny Last Night of the Proms.
(Too patriotic)
You could say ‘Last Night of the Poms’. LOL.
Yi-Ha,
Here’s looking at you kid (Ardern)
Down the hatch,
Punch and Judy.
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