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Satire
Outlaws Jones and Peters are riding fast and furious to the North with saddlebags of loot ransacked from Wellington.
Jones who looks like a bit of a pork barrel himself is aiming to get himself elected sheriff in the far north. My Marshall King is already there and will head him off.
That twerking outlaw Seymour who made a fool of himself at the barn dance seems to be gathering the Centre Right Posse. They used to be loyal to us in any affray but it looks like they are going over to him, the Twerk. I personally want to dance in the middle with Missie Ardern. Take your partners for the last dance!
The entire Avatars Gang are staying at the saloon. I dare say Missie Ardern don’t like any of the Engineers’ Gang as she won’t let them near the place. I guess Transmission Gully will have to wait. She is the Landlord, so what she says goes.
Against her wishes though some of the Covid gang got in.
I hope they don’t take that statue down of Wyatt Earp in the Square. I’m sure the Wokeists will find something nasty to say about him too. After all, he was a wanted man.
The Wokeists are a new Possie who don’t like nobody.
They even fell out with the outlaw Peters.
Talking about cowboys one from our Posse, Penk from Helensville has written a book called “Flattening the Country”. It’s not very flattering of Missie Ardern.
I didn’t think cowboys read books let alone wrote them. This must be a ploy to challenge Missie Ardern’s fiction “Taking the Lead”. I sometimes wonder is she taking the lead from the Notorious U.N. Gang?
Marshall Collins won the recent shoot-out with Marshall Twyford. She has a really fast draw, I wouldn’t want to have a shoot out at tin-cans against her.
When Galloping Garner asked her if I was a good Sheriff, outlaw Willie Jackson laughed like a hyena. I can still hear him now.
I hope they don’t rename the Cook Islands as I won’t be able to find them if I go there on holiday. What about Cook St? I won’t be able to find an old favourite saloon of mine in Dunedin either, The Cook’s Hotel. Shame on the Mc.Cloud Clan!
“Don’t mention the war” either or you might receive a warning from the law.
When the “Black lives Matter” Posse had their showdown in the Square I took off to the Te Puna Rodeo which was a childhood haunt of mine and I got down and dirty with the Whanau. After all, I will need votes when I stand for Sheriff again.
Captain John Hamilton’s statue has gone. He died at Gate Pa in 1864 but was never in Hamilton. The “Billy Hayes” sign from over the Saloon has gone from Akaroa.
“Gone With The Wind” has gone. I fancied myself as Rhett Butler, saying to Scarlett O’Hara (Missie Ardern) “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”.
Yee Haw,
Toddy
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