Oleaginous South Australian Premier Peter Malinauskas is nothing if not keen on uncontrolled mass migration. Look at all the benefits, he likes to finger-wag us. The food! The dances! The police with automatic rifles!
Whoops, Mali didn’t cite that last one, because that would kind of puncture his hucksterist bubble. But, thanks to mass immigration and diversity, it’s where we are. Was the pestilential spread of kebab shops, vape shops, Uber drivers and Arab barbers really worth it?
Australia is a changed place because of mass immigration, that cannot be denied. Not in good ways, either.
I remember the first time I visited Parliament House. A single, unarmed old bloke, his belly overflowing his rent-a-cop uniform, snoozed in a chair by the doors while we members of the public wandered in and out freely. It was a very different story the next time I went. A squad of Federal Police, packed into Robocop-style body armour watched alertly, automatic rifles at the ready, while we filed through the metal detectors. That was after we’d got past the bollards.
Oh, yes, the bollards: ‘diversity bollards’, as they’ve become known. They’re everywhere, now. Well, everywhere but outside mosques, which I’m sure is just a coincidence.
And now, just to rub it in what a dangerous place mass immigration has made the once-Lucky Country, heavily armed snipers will be menacing footy fans at that quintessential Australian event, the AFL Grand Final.
Naturally, the authorities are falling over themselves to assure the paying punters that staring down the barrel of a paramilitary carbine while trying to enjoy a cold pie and a plastic cup of warm piss is entirely normal and deeply comforting.
Following the Bondi Beach terror attack, Victoria Police have confirmed heavily armed police from the critical incident response team will conduct a high-visibility operation at the MCG on Boxing Day.
How reassuring. Nothing says ‘relax and enjoy the sport’ quite like the presence of a squad dressed for Fallujah patrolling Jolimont Station. The constabulary, ever eager to downplay the creeping militarisation of public life, insists this is merely about modern community reassurance rather than any specific threat.
Victoria Police said “specialist police carrying longarm semi-automatic rifles” would be deployed at the major event, defending the move as proactive community safety in an attempt to water down fear from seeing the weapons.
Water down fear! You have wonder what bureaucratic lexicon the PR department dredged up to describe the psychological comfort of having heavily armed state agents loitering by the turnstiles. Perhaps they plan to hand out pamphlets explaining that the cold steel pointed in your general direction is merely a hug from a forward-thinking constabulary.
The bureaucratic apparatus, naturally, marches in lockstep. Both Cricket Australia and the Melbourne Cricket Club have offered their full-throated endorsements of this delightful new normal, where 70-odd thousand souls must navigate a gauntlet of tactical response units, mounted police and public order squads just to watch men chase a leather ball around a grass oval.
Aussies will be confronted by the sight of the heavily armed officers, general duties police, the mounted branch and the public order response team, both inside and outside of the MCG.
It is the direct harvest of an imported security deficit, sown by decades of political cowards who traded social cohesion for GDP growth and vibrant demographic enrichment. Fifteen innocent lives extinguished on the sands of Bondi Beach have brought us to this pass, where rooftop snipers and assault rifles are deemed standard equipment for an afternoon at the footy.
Yet, the architects of this militarised multicult panopticon insist we must simply adjust our sensibilities. Victoria Police Commissioner Mike Bush, whom Good Oil readers no doubt remember with, ah, fondness, stepping up to the plate with a straight face worthy of a professional actor, offered the public his paternal blessing:
“This overt presence is about adding another layer of protection to make sure cricket fans feel safe,” Victoria Police Commissioner Mike Bush said. “It’s important to stress this is a proactive, precautionary measure based on the current threat environment and not a specific new threat to this event.”
How terribly comforting. One is almost tempted to genuflect in gratitude for the privilege of being protected from the very enrichment we were promised would make our culinary palette so wonderfully diverse. The commissioner continues his soothing dispatches, assuring us that militarised checkpoints are just the latest accessory in a modern, forward-thinking society.
“We know it’s unusual to see police with these weapons outside the MCG but I want to assure everyone this is about greater safety and providing reassurance to the community. Be it at the cricket, or anywhere else people are spending the summer, Victoria Police is here for all Victorians.”
Here for all Victorians, provided those Victorians don’t mind dodging the occasional patrol of tactical officers treating a domestic sporting fixture like a contested border zone.
As we swelter through another Antipodean summer under the watchful gaze of the state’s finest, one cannot help but admire the sheer audacity of it all. We have traded the larrikin carelessness of the old Australia for a fortress state, all so the political class can pretend their grand demographic experiment is going swimmingly.
Pass the sunscreen, mate: slip, slop, slap and never you mind the sniper rifle on the roof.
