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In a few days, hopefully on Friday when the special votes and the final election result are declared, National and Chris Luxon will take office. This will usher in a new era in New Zealand: an era of common sense and prosperity, and rejecting a lot of the socialist wickedness we’ve endured in recent years. What this also means is in roughly a week ‘Luxon Derangement Syndrome’ will commence, following the tradition the left had with Holland, Holyoake, Muldoon and Key: all the more reason to simply ignore them.
I am predicting the first opinion polls next year will show National in the mid-40s and Labour early 20s; a trend which will remain until election day 2026 when National gets around 47% of the party vote and Labour collapses to 20%. By 2029 and 2032 Labour will be in the teens and a minor party.
But I wonder what the media, full of deranged left-wingers, will say a decade from now as Mr Luxon and National celebrate their first ten years in government? For instance, what would a NZ Herald editorial on October 14th, 2033 read like?
I suspect it will go something along these lines –
Ten years ago today the Luxon Government won its first general election; without gloating but not without a great deal of satisfaction it falls to us to pronounce the last decade a complete failure. As New Zealand’s “Newspaper of Record” we feel it our duty to convey this news to the general public, but more importantly as a newspaper of independent thinkers – possessed of a rare and discriminating judgement – we feel it is also our duty to speak the truth about the Luxon Government.
Fairness and balance, our two constant watchwords, require that we should record that Mr Luxon’s notorious failure as New Zealand Prime Minister stems from two circumstances which are not entirely his fault –
1. He was not born in Ponsonby
2. He was not born of hipster, communist parents.
Mr Luxon was therefore possessed with a kind of rudimentary native cunning which he used in an attempt, admittedly without much success, to overcome the deficiencies of his birth. In particular, upon assuming the office of Prime Minister, he acquired a certain skill with words which led him to make a series of unambiguous, clear, concise and transparent statements daily. This made Prime Minister Christopher Luxon impossible to misunderstand, let alone misreport.
However, we at the New Zealand Herald have made it our mission over the last 170 years to overcome the “impossible”; our readers will share our sense of pride when we claim to have beaten the impossible task – (misunderstanding and therefore misreporting what he said) – set for us by Mr Luxon, and managing to do so time and again during the last decade.
Beyond doubling exports, raising living standards, paying down debt, returning numeracy and literacy to 100%, and spreading aspirational capitalist values around like confetti, the greatest failure of Christopher Luxon as Prime Minister has been his obstinate refusal to acknowledge that the media is the real ruler of the nation.
Being a reactionary, a right winger – holdovers from the circumstances of his birth – has seen his fundamentally uneducated mind retain an atavistic belief that political power belongs not only to elected people such as himself, but those said same people should be chosen by the electorate rather than news editors and press gallery reporters!
Accordingly, we can only pronounce the last ten years as New Zealand’s dark ages; especially in comparison with the golden age of the Ardern era.
