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Kiri Te Kanawa – Chants D’Auvergne, English Chamber Orch., Jeffrey Tate, Decca Digital. The BFD.

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One of the oft-repeated claims by the Maori party and its seemingly deranged leader, along with many other “professional Maoris” scamming vast sums of other people’s money, is that Maoris never ceded sovereignty to the Crown. This bizarre notion is great politics for the Maori party; it stirs up younger Maoris; provides an excuse for their unemployment, meth habit, criminal record, and illiteracy. If it’s all the fault of colonisers, you don’t need to look in the mirror and conclude a slightly more likely reason for your lot in life.

But is there anything in this contention?

The Treaty of Waitangi was pretty easy to understand, even to uneducated Maoris in 1840 and clearly states sovereignty was ceded. But no matter how much proof of this is proffered it simply won’t be accepted by scam artists and madmen.

One of the problems you have when attempting to debate ignorant people is that ‘adult’ concepts evade them; for example, saying “you can’t have it both ways” is lost on them.

Today it is the eightieth birthday of Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, the opera singer. She had a glittering career entertaining audiences all over the world, most famously singing at the wedding of King Charles and Diana in front of hundreds of millions of people. She is a national treasure. At the weekend I was listening to her being interviewed by Jack Tame (yes, yes – I know) on Newstalk ZB and she mentioned having lived in Britain for fifty years – something which surprised me to learn.

So, dear reader, let us take a look at Dame Kiri in the context of Maori Party Logic.

If they are correct that Maori never ceded sovereignty to the Crown then it means that Dame Kiri has been an illegal immigrant in Britain for fifty years! Far from being a widely respected opera singer, she was actually engaging in a massive criminal conspiracy to not only illegally live in a foreign country, but earn millions of quid doing so. Even more extraordinary she did all this whilst befriending the King and his ex-wife, and presumably laughing all the way.

Obviously we – the law-abiding folk – cannot turn a blind eye to criminal activity. Dame Kiri needs to be arrested and punished for her lifetime of crime. Perhaps she can entertain fellow inmates in Downview and introduce them to opera? Or maybe sing music hall numbers? After all, comrades, in the adult world you can’t have it both ways.

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