John Black
stuffednz.net
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Satire
Brian Tamaki has vowed to return to the Auckland Domain this Saturday for a “family picnic”.
“If other families also happen to be having picnics nearby, carrying signs and chanting, it’s nothing to do with me”, he said. Responding to reports that a local Countdown had received an order for 5000 Tip Top loaves and the same number of frozen fish, he said “God will provide. And luckily God has a One Card.”
Asked if he was getting carried away by messiah-like delusions, Mr Tamaki replied: “This week the same day I was in court we had a 5.3 magnitude earthquake. Coincidence? Or was God trying to say something? Something like ‘give Brian a suspended sentence without a fine’, something like that.”
Mr Tamaki refused any further questions as he had to go and paint on his eyebrows but he did say he would be releasing an autobiography later in the year with an accompanying CD, stage show, line of action figures and a feature film, entitled “Life of Brian“.
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