Satire
The Weather and Safety Are No Excuse
A $400 fine is an annoying cost for many people. For someone living on a pension, it can become a fortnight-by-fortnight reminder that the safest decision still lost its appeal. And that is the real reason this story will irritate people.
$33M IT Project Successfully Converts Money Into Nothing
Immigration NZ’s $33m IT project delivers nothing.
The Succession Sessions at State Broadcasting
Voila! Layers of staff expenses cut, with sufficient savings thereto attached to ensure the MMC could all keep their jobs. And the irony, that they were, simultaneously, revealing themselves as the next layers of staff that AI would probably replace, was lost on them.
Never Too Bloody Old To Do It
Canterbury man, 94, proves you’re never too old if someone still agrees to tow you.
A Catastrophe at the Department
Alas – despite reaching number one at the box office, AotF was pipped at the post for the Oscar by a remake of “How Green was my Carbon Neutral Valley” (which, after some initial controversy, was accepted as a nominee, despite it being 92 per cent generated by an emissions-heavy AI programme).
The Public Service Head Count Cuts
And there you have the answer to the Minister Willis’s conundrum. We can prove that, by simply not employing that extra 14.7 equivalents, we have effectively reduced our theoretical headcount by this number.
That’s Not What Plumbing Was Invented For
There is only so much a pipe can be expected to process before it starts taking things personally. The Rotorua fatberg.
New Zealand Quietly Builds Discount Cigarette Underworld
Then acts shocked it attracted organised crime. A dodgy darts economy.
Dipton Wants More Than Turbine Vibes
Dipton locals hear about another giant wind farm and immediately ask the only sensible question: ‘Cool, but who actually gets the good bit?”