Homes Fast-Tracked but Wastewater May Have To Commute
The houses have found the fast track. The wastewater is still comparing routes, and State Highway 1 has been pencilled in as the pipe.
Satire
193 Schools Queue To Rediscover Walls
The traditional classroom can now return under a more modern name. Adaptive enclosed learning environment should do it. That allows schools to install four walls and a door without admitting the basic design was already familiar to everybody’s grandparents.
We Can Not Allow a Charter University
In a final irony, due to the loss of this revenue from international tuition fees, half of the lecturers that would not support the UoD lost their jobs. But fortunately, as always, Grant still did alright.
Wellington Plumber Adds ‘Couldn’t Park Anywhere’ Fee
Wellington has spent years arguing about cars, parking, cycleways and the purpose of public space. This story adds another participant to the debate.
The Weather and Safety Are No Excuse
A $400 fine is an annoying cost for many people. For someone living on a pension, it can become a fortnight-by-fortnight reminder that the safest decision still lost its appeal. And that is the real reason this story will irritate people.
$33M IT Project Successfully Converts Money Into Nothing
Immigration NZ’s $33m IT project delivers nothing.
The Succession Sessions at State Broadcasting
Voila! Layers of staff expenses cut, with sufficient savings thereto attached to ensure the MMC could all keep their jobs. And the irony, that they were, simultaneously, revealing themselves as the next layers of staff that AI would probably replace, was lost on them.
Never Too Bloody Old To Do It
Canterbury man, 94, proves you’re never too old if someone still agrees to tow you.
A Catastrophe at the Department
Alas – despite reaching number one at the box office, AotF was pipped at the post for the Oscar by a remake of “How Green was my Carbon Neutral Valley” (which, after some initial controversy, was accepted as a nominee, despite it being 92 per cent generated by an emissions-heavy AI programme).
The Public Service Head Count Cuts
And there you have the answer to the Minister Willis’s conundrum. We can prove that, by simply not employing that extra 14.7 equivalents, we have effectively reduced our theoretical headcount by this number.
