The Public Service Head Count Cuts
And there you have the answer to the Minister Willis’s conundrum. We can prove that, by simply not employing that extra 14.7 equivalents, we have effectively reduced our theoretical headcount by this number.
Satire
That’s Not What Plumbing Was Invented For
There is only so much a pipe can be expected to process before it starts taking things personally. The Rotorua fatberg.
New Zealand Quietly Builds Discount Cigarette Underworld
Then acts shocked it attracted organised crime. A dodgy darts economy.
Dipton Wants More Than Turbine Vibes
Dipton locals hear about another giant wind farm and immediately ask the only sensible question: ‘Cool, but who actually gets the good bit?”
Woolworths Has an AI Bouncer
Applicants told to defeat AI bouncer before earning the right to stack yoghurt.
A Mudfish Wins Fish of the Year
The national champion is, in effect, a shy little swamp goblin with survival instincts and a strong preference for staying out of sight. This makes it a relatable icon. New Zealand is emotionally vulnerable to any small, weird battler that sounds underappreciated and slightly damp.
Fuel May Force Bosses To Discover Remote Work Again
This is where the satire bites hardest: remote work keeps being rediscovered in New Zealand the way ancient ruins are rediscovered by people standing directly on top of them.
Iranian Navy Requests Advice on Ships as Tourist Attractions
Iranian officials confirmed they are now studying the New Zealand model carefully. “If we cannot float the ships,” Admiral Abooat said, “we may simply lean into the scuba tourism angle.”
Solving Crises With ‘Not My Department’
Wellington solves parking crisis by entering a strategic partnership with ‘not my department’.
Government Introduces Traffic Light System For Beneficiaries
Immediately discovers New Zealand also needs jobs.
