John Black

My Guide to Sucking up to Dictators

The Great NZ Political Cosplay Competition

Last Saturday night at an undisclosed Wellington location, our pollies held a boozy bacchanal to decide who was the number one political cosplayer. Prizes were given and competition was fierce.

Luxon’s Advice for World Leaders

Using a devilishly clever method (lemon-juice invisible ink), Luxon has been sending his advice in letter form without detection by the world’s press. Luckily, I too was once a boy scout.

New Zealand Children’s Books I’d Like to See

I concede Jepsen’s point that New Zealand children should be reading something that reflects their culture and is relevant to their daily lives. So, I have come up with some scenarios for children’s books that might be recognisable for Kiwi kids in 2025.

The Death of NZ Culture

When the majority Pākehā culture is spurned and a focus placed on ‘indigenous’ Māori culture and recently imported minorities, the assimilation of immigrants to a national identity becomes impossible.

16 Reasons for Not Letting 16-Year-Olds Vote

Any extension of the franchise should be a matter of mature consideration. Or, as is my preference, a matter of mockery, abuse and hysterical worse-case scenarios.

Are We Living in a Castrated Culture?

It’s not just popular music that has lost its rebellious male mojo. Film and TV are in almost total obeisance to the ‘message’ stifling creativity. The multiplexes are now home to retreads and rethinks and often swap out male energy for the feminine version.

To Make Sense of Left-Wing Foreign Policy

The reaction from the left has been predictably terrible with #IstandwithIran trending on social media. In an attempt to understand this apparent paradox (among others) in lefty foreign policy thinking, I approached an expert.

The Trump-Musk Letters

If only all this had happened in an age of decorum and sobriety, back when people wrote letters…

My Fashion Advice for Politicians

Clothes maketh the woman, but only apparently if they are madeth in the right placeth.

Pay Equity Is Complete C***

Political reporters battle with their keyboards. They also have to battle for attention which is why, late at night after a few too many glasses of cab sav, they can fire off mean little diatribes.