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You know, it’s just as well that the Victorian government spent so much money on those machete bins. Otherwise, the state might be overrun with machete violence.
Oh, wait…
Five teens have been released by cops and a 22-year-old given bail over a wild machete brawl at a major Melbourne train station over the weekend.
Another weekend, another machete brawl in the very heart of Melbourne. Yet more ‘youths’ of-no-particular-description exchanging punches and swinging blades where once young lovers met ‘under the clocks’. A 17-year-old left with a slashed arm. Five teens released pending further enquiries. A 22-year-old bailed to appear in court in November. One of the teens is reportedly already part of a crew that torched a liquor business in the city’s bar wars.
Police later confirmed up to 10 people, some armed with machetes, fighting in the concourse area. Four were arrested on a departing train after Protective Service Officers found them with the weapons. Two more were picked up in the precinct. Only the 22-year-old faced charges of affray, reckless cause injury, assault with a weapon and possessing a prohibited weapon. The five younger offenders walked free.
In Victoria, though, machete attacks are like the proverbial steak knives: but wait! There’s more!
A man accused of involvement in a horror machete attack on New Year’s Eve in Melbourne has been warned he will not get any further adjournments in his case.
Kon Tong Gob, 20, appeared in the Melbourne Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday afternoon, covering his head with a jacket to avoid being photographed, two months after he was charged with serious offences relating to a brazen group attack in Carlton on December 31 last year.
Police allege Mr Gob, his co-accused Yahye Abas, 21, and a 17-year-old boy were involved in the incident on Lygon St, a popular restaurant strip, just before midnight that sent two men, aged 18 and 20, to hospital with serious injuries.
How much time would you expect them to do? Don’t answer!
Terrifying footage has emerged of a masked gang storming into a mall and allegedly attacking a group of teens with a machete in Melbourne overnight.
Police believe about a dozen people were seated outside at Eaton Mall, in Melbourne’s southeast, when a large group of people wearing balaclavas and black clothing marched into the area about 7.45pm on Friday.
Assistant Commissioner Michael Herman said the horrific footage was quite confronting and police were treating it as a targeted attack.
During the attack, police allege at least two of the teens produced machetes and assaulted an 18-year-old Malvern East man.
And those ‘youths’ of-no-particular-description are far from done.
Police have arrested six people, including four youths, over the death and alleged kidnapping of a man whose body was found near a children’s playground in Melbourne’s west last month […]
His body was found near the playground in Bruny Drive, Tarneit about 4:30am that morning.
As Good Oil readers may have already guessed, Tarneit is the dumping-ground for many African migrants.
And that’s just it: these are not random crimes. Machete attacks in Victoria are almost exclusively linked to a culture of African youth gangs. Victorian media and politicians have denied a ‘problem’ with such gangs for years, despite a string of such incidents. Even now most outlets refuse to identify the ethnicity of the offenders. Call it Ann Coulter’s Law: if the perpetrators aren’t white, their background is either irrelevant or mentioning it is treated as the real crime.
Victorian police spent years denying that Africans were over-represented in crime statistics, even as their own data told a different story. They also denied the existence of gangs, describing them instead as “networked criminal offenders”. Which sounds exactly like… gangs.
The bail system has long been a revolving door for these violent thugs. Offenders with lengthy records are routinely released back into the community to reoffend. The teen in the Flinders Street crew is the latest example of a system that treats public safety as an optional extra.
Victoria’s soft-on-crime approach didn’t happen by accident. It is the direct result of a political class that has spent a decade prioritising ‘diversity’ and ‘inclusion’ rhetoric over the safety of ordinary Victorians. Every time police or media downplay the ethnic dimension of these attacks, they erode the social contract a little further. Every time a violent teenager is bailed back onto the streets, another law-abiding citizen pays the price in fear and insurance premiums.
The latest statement by Victoria Police would be almost comical if this wasn’t such a shockingly serious issue.
“Victoria Police have worked incredibly hard with government support to address knife crime,” he said.

Premier Jacinta Allan’s machete ban and the machete bins programme that cost $13 million were sold as the answer. Instead they became another costly symbol of a government that prefers gesture politics to confronting the cultural and policy failures driving the violence.
The bins were always a farce. The real problem is a toxic combination of imported gang culture, welfare dependency, family breakdown and a justice system captured by ideology. Until Victorian leaders are willing to name the specific communities and the specific policy choices that have produced this mess, the vibrant multicultural tapestry of machete bins and bodies dumped at playgrounds will keep coming.