Dear Editor
It has been revealed that scientists have identified a new and particularly virulent strain of Marxism, the Ardern variant, which is replicating virtually unchecked in the People’s Republic of Aotearoa (formerly New Zealand).
Infection with the Ardern variant is immediately recognisable by a strange olfactory condition, which has rendered citizens of this small country completely incapable of smelling the bullshit that emanates from almost every newspaper, TV and radio station on a daily basis.
More concerning than the nation’s loss of smell, however, are the severe downstream effects of this infection, which has rapidly destroyed the country’s economy, its social cohesion, its race relations and its health and education systems.
The country is now teetering on the abyss, with all known treatments – namely democracy, freedom of association and speech, common decency and kiwi values – now being illegal and punishable by heavy fines and in some cases imprisonment.
It is thought that an eradication policy might ultimately prove effective against the Ardern variant but sadly no firm strategy seems to have yet been developed.
Roland
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